tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3067389861442739902024-03-05T16:56:33.832+05:30POINTS TO PONDER... food for my thoughtsNatsBKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12835358606769835037noreply@blogger.comBlogger245125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-306738986144273990.post-91354069813826626742019-09-24T15:09:00.000+05:302019-09-24T15:09:16.092+05:30Maids and Visiting Mothers<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU7i7RleIaFXqRclBXRjiTPxslA10eIbembFgtFh7sooC3YCHzES4NKEko9E0P3FFe0clfncFof7hVvbyqj5vcrR90L_GImdvmOyhf9A64H1TB8vfw7cD11axCuPl0B14dm0sf8s-AfxA/s1600/Capture.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="273" data-original-width="402" height="271" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU7i7RleIaFXqRclBXRjiTPxslA10eIbembFgtFh7sooC3YCHzES4NKEko9E0P3FFe0clfncFof7hVvbyqj5vcrR90L_GImdvmOyhf9A64H1TB8vfw7cD11axCuPl0B14dm0sf8s-AfxA/s400/Capture.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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We have two part-time maids at home, one for cleaning and one for cooking. The cook comes in the evening and cooks dinner only. She has been working at our place for four years now, from the time when the number of household members was 6-7 to 3 now. The cleaning maid keeps on changing from time to time, depending on their attitude, performance and absenteeism. She comes in the evening (as we are available only then) and during daytime on weekends or when our parents are visiting.</div>
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Neither I nor my sister-in-law are very fussy when it comes to the working style of both the maids. It is mostly because we both are too tired at the end of the day to run after the maids, I after office and she after college. It is only on weekends that we engage the cleaning maid in intensive cleaning and the cook in special instructions. The cook doesn't cook non-vegetarian well, so we mostly cook the non-vegetarian dishes ourselves. But as you know, mothers have their own standards of cleanliness and process, be it cooking or cleaning. And our mothers are no different.</div>
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My parents-in-law (Mummy and Daddy) visits us annually, usually for a couple of months. They stay in Saudi Arabia and they have their home cleaned every alternate day by a boy who is professionally trained. Their home remains sparkling clean without a speck of dust. Delhi on the other hand is full of dust. The area of our residence is quite congested and something or the other is always under construction in the vicinity. So even if dusting is done around the house regularly, a fine sheet of dust covers everything in a couple of hours. Even corners inside wardrobes accumulates dust. </div>
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So when Mummy and Daddy visit us, they go on a cleaning spree. They would keep a strict eye as to whether the dust and litter have been swept away from the corners and underneath the furniture or not and instruct the maid from time to time. And every time they visit, they would take up their own cleaning projects around the house. On most days, Mummy can be seen with Colin in one hand and a cloth in the other. Daddy would have his own specialised projects of clean doors and furnishings. In the past seven years, out of eight cleaning maids, they have been completely satisfied with only with one (but unfortunately she moved away). We have even fired a couple of them at their behest!</div>
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Mummy's sister is no less. Aunty's one child or the other have always stayed with us, so she also visits us from time to time, especially when Mummy is here. Her favorite work area is the kitchen. She would take over the kitchen slabs and cabinets and rub them off till they are shining.</div>
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My mother (Ma) is presently visiting us. This is the first time that she is staying with us for a long period since my wedding. And like Mummy and Aunty, cleaning every nook and corner of the house is on her top agenda. She used to do the same thing when she used to visit me when I was single and still does when she visits my sister. Currently, our cleaning maid is new one who doesn't speak much Hindi. So it's very interesting to see how they interact and how Ma is training her to clean the house in manner she wants her to. Both of them communicate in a mix of Hindi (Ma), Nepali (the maid) and gestures. Everyday she spends a couple of hours in guiding the maid. </div>
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Apart from the regular sweeping and wiping the floor and dusting, focus is on other specific areas on certain days. One day it is the doors and the windows, and the other it is the corners, crevices and wall tiles in the kitchen. Once Ma was not home and I was in the office. Az was the only one home. The maid came and cleaned the netted iron gates on the doors and specifically instructed Az that he should inform Ma that she had cleaned them!</div>
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The cook has her own episodes. When Mummy and Aunty are here, she has to cook mostly chapatis, lentils and vegetable curries. Since the maid is also a native from Bihar like my marital family, there are almost no cooking instructions from them. The only problem is that she needs to cook in larger quantities as more people are in the house.</div>
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Now that Ma is here, she has to cook mostly rice along with lentils and vegetable fries or curries, but in Assamese style. Mostly, Ma cooks the main dish, especially if it's non-vegetarian, and utilise the maid for prepping. She gives a lot of instructions while cooking along with while cutting, chopping or cleaning. Ma has her own OCD like standards when it comes to cleanliness. One day, the maid got frustrated and commented that she has been working for us for four years now! But of course, Ma didn't give up and continued with her aspirations to train her. After all these weeks, both of them have now come to amicable terms.</div>
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The cook usually cleans up after completing her work. She would sweep the the kitchen floor, clean and wipe the gas stove top and slabs, and also was wash the extra utensils lying in the sink. But when the mothers are visiting, she would skip some and all of her cleaning up activities! That is her way of showing that she is disgruntled.</div>
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The point is when the mothers come visiting, it is not the favourite time of the year for the maids. I am sure that they pray fervently everyday that their ordeals come to an end soon. But for us children, those are the good times. The house comes in order and tasty meals are on the table. But the cherry on the top is that our home becomes a warmer haven.</div>
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NatsBKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12835358606769835037noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-306738986144273990.post-37058129452687564322018-12-15T15:21:00.001+05:302019-09-27T14:29:53.070+05:30A "Personnel" Letter<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvJ8TJNTHDRvFMfN3aez3ggmaF3rz6TZgUH0243J90e6hF3cmlY8wInSlKBFWxWDwLMjnM_FuEPPWMwkxH6CSVnvZCDnSdfo1PDJOchUt6QuLiWwAtKvsusKLl9cEdNK4TziQ6RYCX9qA/s1600/employee_.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="550" data-original-width="786" height="222" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvJ8TJNTHDRvFMfN3aez3ggmaF3rz6TZgUH0243J90e6hF3cmlY8wInSlKBFWxWDwLMjnM_FuEPPWMwkxH6CSVnvZCDnSdfo1PDJOchUt6QuLiWwAtKvsusKLl9cEdNK4TziQ6RYCX9qA/s320/employee_.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Dear Employee,</span></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I know you believe with your heart and head that HR (traditionally known as the Personnel department) is a good-for-nothing department. You think that we come to work just to idle away our time and get salaries for free. And that </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">our only job is to hire people and making your salaries (apart from making <i>rangolis</i> and organizing office parties).</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I know you blame us for all the awful things that happen to you at work (or may be at home too!). Even when you are late for office in the morning because you woke up late, you must be blaming us for the office location being ten kilometres away from your residence. I am sure, you find a way to blame us for your constipation every morning too! Well, you sure do have a lot many preconceived notions and misconceptions about us and I am sick and tired of your cheap jibes. So here are some things that you should know. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We are the interface between the management and you. So the truth is we get bashed up on both sides. We need to play the role of a mediator and strike a balance between the you too but ultimately end up becoming the unpopular lot. For the good things, the management takes credit; for the bad things, we take the beating.</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYtPpsjBYsDg0YsDBHUDuPpg0lipar7rZoKToQInM3lPH8iBN-BzyNkQgON24ULZnQfhqAsSUeT-fqx8cTeKuLTyn6fAorAb1SbFxL9-6hgLhcxymv4klqXetEuam-5RfzwwnGGJ7OUgA/s1600/interview1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="338" data-original-width="438" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYtPpsjBYsDg0YsDBHUDuPpg0lipar7rZoKToQInM3lPH8iBN-BzyNkQgON24ULZnQfhqAsSUeT-fqx8cTeKuLTyn6fAorAb1SbFxL9-6hgLhcxymv4klqXetEuam-5RfzwwnGGJ7OUgA/s1600/interview1.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">No, our only job is not to hire people and making your salaries. Our role starts even before we know you. We help departments in making manpower plans and hiring people. We help to screen prospective employees, and put up a fight to bring in the best and honest people to the organization. We are responsible for all the aspects of an employee's life cycle and even beyond. We are loathed for our processes, systems, procedures and policies. But can't you see? We do all this to have a healthy working environment and a healthy organization. We are the custodian of the key to the DNA of our organization (but sometimes it is snatched away by higher powers).</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Training is not the sole job of HR. Many things and skills are learnable at your own level, provided you have the attitude to learn. So stop expecting that we will be giving you vocabulary lessons! Your managers are your foremost trainers and mentors. We can provide you specific development opportunities only when your managers let us know about your potential. Ditto when it comes to your promotions and increments. So talk to them! Let them know about your accomplishments, requirements and expectations. The next time you start cursing us for your peanut increment, remember that we are not the ones who draw any pleasure from your poor increment.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">When the washroom is not clean or you have a problem with your parking space, please don't come to us. You are supposed to contact the office admin person. Yes my dear, HR and Office Admin are two different activities.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">No, we are not snobs. We are forced to put up poker faces to stop you from making illogical statements and unreasonable accusations. And no, we don't know about everything that is happening in the organization (even if we want to) and we are not gossip mongers. So, please don't try to befriend us for inside information's sake!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">But yes, you can come to us when something's bothering you, when you don't know how to handle a certain situation and need advice. We will surely try to help you to the best of our abilities. And if we can't help, we will let you know.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">You might not have encountered the best of HR people in your professional life. But you can't think poorly of us based on your prejudices. It is like saying that all salespeople are liars and all accountants are nerds. So give us a chance and understand that negative perceptions can be broken only through better experiences. And it goes both ways.</span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgchXUdQgZqf40J-l58nOCbSqdv12ZSAzZEET47cd0eUHn3I7FTDlKqTMQofwcpT1X6Lofhc_VnbRlEvS4049kwgD1ANkjt0YrjCFhDvqvC1gKvrE7iDDCp98iXiDJRcDRHQ7pzeFCRRlo/s1600/office-clown-circus_clown-circus-workplace-personnel_department-efin2597_low.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="379" data-original-width="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgchXUdQgZqf40J-l58nOCbSqdv12ZSAzZEET47cd0eUHn3I7FTDlKqTMQofwcpT1X6Lofhc_VnbRlEvS4049kwgD1ANkjt0YrjCFhDvqvC1gKvrE7iDDCp98iXiDJRcDRHQ7pzeFCRRlo/s1600/office-clown-circus_clown-circus-workplace-personnel_department-efin2597_low.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Depending on the size and type of organization and its goals and culture, HR's role in an organization ranges from hygiene to strategic.<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> At heart, our role remains to ensure an ethical organization, to have organized systems, to streamline activities and avoid chaos, to promote well-being of employees. We strive to have a positive workplace, to keep people connected. </span></span></span></span>After all, happy employees are productive and effective employees, aren't we? We are constantly trying to find ways to bring people together, to nurture team spirit, to promote positivity and encourage work-life balance. We often have to challenge
orthodox managers for that, and we seldom succeed at one go but we never give
up. But we can't do things alone. </span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Every department in an organization has a role to play, and none can work in isolation. And each have their own limitations. </span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">So next time you try to take a jab at us, try looking at a mirror too. Hence,</span></span></span></span> instead of always finding fault with each other, we need to work in tandem. Together we can make our workplace a better place.</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">With best regards,</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Your <b>HR team.</b></span></span><a div="" href="https://www.blogger.com/null">
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NatsBKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12835358606769835037noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-306738986144273990.post-72852503552143363422018-11-06T13:08:00.000+05:302019-09-25T11:41:59.460+05:30When You Care<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0JUyhrykBhg3Uqgv5yIYwMloyWEMeloZnuQujkS3_OWO7gxZ8Poy6Afb7AQBEenJo0hqxOWezLcTJIe64GERbwx9S19yB8Wv3NxVB-jMTyGPP_foHU30gArZ9kbu4J8xtanK4kxsry6Q/s1600/caring-too-much.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="166" data-original-width="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0JUyhrykBhg3Uqgv5yIYwMloyWEMeloZnuQujkS3_OWO7gxZ8Poy6Afb7AQBEenJo0hqxOWezLcTJIe64GERbwx9S19yB8Wv3NxVB-jMTyGPP_foHU30gArZ9kbu4J8xtanK4kxsry6Q/s1600/caring-too-much.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I
believe you can take care of other people only when you are truly concerned about them. An
exception may be when you are a caregiver by profession. But again, you can truly be honest in the
same when you empathize with those who need your care.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Families
spend years together <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">under</span> the same roof, without feeling
any real connect with each other. So called friends may hang out together everyday, yet remain oblivious to each others' lives. </span></span>Why
some people are capable of
offering help without being asked, while others are able to overlook when
the other person clearly needs help? I believe the answer lies in genuine concern
and kindheartedness.</span></span> </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">A
person who loves his/her family and friends to bits, even when his/her love and concern is not cent
percent reciprocated, he/she will bear all hardships for them. And a
kindhearted person will always be able to empathize with your pain,
sorrow and hardship. Such people are always ready to lend you a helping
hand, even when you don't ask for it. There are so few people who genuinely care about other people, about their well-being without an ulterior motive. They check on you from time
to time, even if you don't care a fig about them. They genuinely care about you,
and that makes all the difference.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Then there are the others with magnanimous hearts, the kindhearted. They embrace humanity at large, offer their selfless service to the lesser privileged. They care about other living souls with a sense of empathy and genuine love.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It is only when you care about someone, that you can feel the burn of their pain as well as the warmth of their happiness. </span></span>Your genuine concern lets<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> you see when they need support. </span></span></span></span>It enables you to go ahead and
lend a helping hand without being asked, to take care of them with an open heart and with open limbs.</span></span> They will not need to ask for your help because you will reach out to them
on your own. The fact that you care will reflect in your words and your
action. When you love and care about someone, it will manifest in kindness and empathy.<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> </span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">If I care about you, I will be kind to you in the simplest of ways. It<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> may simply mean </span>getting you a glass of water or simply asking how you are doing. It is as simple as that.</span></span> </span></span></div>
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NatsBKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12835358606769835037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-306738986144273990.post-37843960796130894002018-07-11T16:10:00.002+05:302019-09-25T11:42:13.610+05:30Looking Married<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>They - "You are married!"</i></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>Me - "Yeah....."</i></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>They - "But you don't look married at all!!!!"</i></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I get this a lot. From colleagues, acquaintances, salon staff to random people I meet. Many of my office colleagues assumed that I am single and are surprised when I mention my husband or in-laws in my casual talks. When I was already working for couple of years, many still asked me what I was studying.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Not to brag, but I have been even looked at as a prospective bride in other people's weddings a couple of times. They didn't even notice the red vermilion on my forehead. And once it was at my own brothers-in-law's wedding! And yes, that's the reason why aunties and sisters attend weddings, to check out prospective daughter-in-laws for their families.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">My husband breathes mock fumes when I report such stories and remarks playfully that I should go out of the house all dolled up in fistful of <i>sindoor</i> (vermilion) , dangling <i>mangalsutra</i> (a black beaded necklace which married North Indian women typically wear) and jingling bangles.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">And it makes me wonder what does looking married means anyway. How does a woman look married?</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBjJJIJ16jAx36kNfyWsQ-Y2gbdmPxfwFk8rhhSLVmGaarMP3PoX802a0IZeGnHG1YsheJZTuJJ9bpVvBI7UYNOhE8LW3MAZWGfaeIDVLrZztEWUUjyOAPshl2eAhu-dsQdIHf0HRTh-0/s1600/201210160831050479961001350394265.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBjJJIJ16jAx36kNfyWsQ-Y2gbdmPxfwFk8rhhSLVmGaarMP3PoX802a0IZeGnHG1YsheJZTuJJ9bpVvBI7UYNOhE8LW3MAZWGfaeIDVLrZztEWUUjyOAPshl2eAhu-dsQdIHf0HRTh-0/s320/201210160831050479961001350394265.jpg" /></a></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Is it wearing traditional attire?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Or applying a dollop of <i>sindoor</i> on her middle hair parting?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Or by announcing her entry with jingling of bangles and anklets?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Or by not taking care of her looks and body?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Or by opening her mouth only to blabber about cooking, housekeeping, husband and children?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Or by appearing haggard at all times?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">And why does a married woman need to look married at all?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Meanwhile,</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span></span><i><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">They - "But you don't look married at all!!!!"</span></span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Me - "Thank you. I would take that as a compliment." (With a wide grin!) </span></span></i><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">May be it's just my "look younger" genes (Thank you Ma and Deta!).</span></span></div>
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NatsBKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12835358606769835037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-306738986144273990.post-1778697896628076202018-07-03T14:34:00.001+05:302019-09-25T11:42:29.531+05:30If You Have To Compare<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSctVfqChtLQfevKE0psp3FKCxAHuYVLWuzN2rpuNziDMK42Y9lmJDJTxLs45e2sh2LJ0gZgSkQpLMisGkmP_tB6Y1pe6M9dSZKSO3aSOrejxZR0cNPSRcOd-npaFnn0B2PhPmHPLXysM/s1600/4258c2523e3796fee48420cfec0c958f.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1400" data-original-width="1060" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSctVfqChtLQfevKE0psp3FKCxAHuYVLWuzN2rpuNziDMK42Y9lmJDJTxLs45e2sh2LJ0gZgSkQpLMisGkmP_tB6Y1pe6M9dSZKSO3aSOrejxZR0cNPSRcOd-npaFnn0B2PhPmHPLXysM/s320/4258c2523e3796fee48420cfec0c958f.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">The problem with most of us is that we always want to live someone else's lives. We set the so-called "happiness standards" based on the visible lives of others. We are haunted by their apparent "happy and happening" lives, thanks to the omnipresent social media. Based on their visible lives around us and on social media, we define our own lives. We don't even know for real how their lives actual are, we are simply blinded by what they seem to have and we don't. We choose to ignore and nullify what we already have.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">We are sent to school and college by our parents with great hope. We look at our peers and choose to compare ourselves with whom we perceive to be leading better lives than us. We want to fit in, we desire to be them. We like what they wear and our own clothes start looking shabby. We desire to go out as often as they do. We start spending our pocket money in matching standards instead of spending on our necessities. We start forgetting the sacrifices of our parents. We start asking for more. But never once it crosses our minds to compare ourselves with peers who are less privileged than we are. Neither we look beyond the the superficial happiness of our "better" friends and and take a peep at their real selves. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">We start earning. But it's never enough. We chose to spend all of it on ourselves to match our upgraded "happiness standards". Basic necessities of life take a backseat. We desire to fit in among our new better "peers". In our minds, we are still comparing our lives with our old and new friends. When our pockets are empty, we go to our parents. We don't even feel that now it's our turn to take care of them. We continue to take them for granted.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">We start our own family with our spouses. "Happiness standards" are upgraded once again. We compare our standings with that of our siblings, relatives, friends and colleagues. We even compare our spouses and children with that of others instead of focusing on the good in them. Instead of giving importance to our familial responsibilities or to values and principles, we continue giving importance to maintaining our superficial images and status. We spend our money on branded clothes and accessories, throwing parties, gifting our well-to-do friends and relatives in a desire to receive expensive gifts and favours in return, looking down upon our less privileged relatives and friends. We take loans to go on foreign vacations because we too need to share "foreign vacation stories" with our friends. We don't understand our spouses and children, but click "happy" photos to post on social media, hinting love and happiness. We still don't care much our parents. We still look at them as caregivers, free nannies and free loan givers. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">We are doing what our "happy" peers are doing. But somehow we are still not happy. We are striving to provide our spouses and children with all luxuries. But they are still not happy with us and still complaining. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Will we ever understand that happiness is in our hands, that we can never be happy if we set superficial and abnormally high materialistic "happiness standards"? Will we understand that instead of running after money and success, if we start focusing on working hard and bettering ourselves everyday, all kind of successes are bound to follow. In our quest of looking towards the superficial upwards, we do not choose to compare ourselves with the ones who are less privileged than us. But if we choose we do so, we will be grateful for everything that we do have in our hands. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfOs34DFU6pDdtNhtVhvl9t6NRda1-sX8ucfXT3bfVaYF4_vQpTY8VLgaVblvf2Wle15fCkfQxpRF7hvRHtfLur894DraQdiFm7XzSteKom_WilU43GtuRUp9Pb5d0DlMaO0qyrnV4064/s1600/46ef1dd7e4b9c7a69fa84cfd7eb7f73e.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="453" data-original-width="900" height="201" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfOs34DFU6pDdtNhtVhvl9t6NRda1-sX8ucfXT3bfVaYF4_vQpTY8VLgaVblvf2Wle15fCkfQxpRF7hvRHtfLur894DraQdiFm7XzSteKom_WilU43GtuRUp9Pb5d0DlMaO0qyrnV4064/s400/46ef1dd7e4b9c7a69fa84cfd7eb7f73e.png" width="400" /></a></span></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Think about those who have to struggle each day for the basic needs of food, clothing and shelter. </span></span></i></span></span></i><i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Think about those who can't even afford to go to school or college. </i></span></span></span></span></i></span></span></i><i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Think about those who are the only earning member in the entire family, worse they don't even have a job but have mouths to feed.</i></span></span></i></span></span></span></span></i></span></span></i><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Think about those who are not blessed with health. They have terminal or perennial illness, or deformities. Think about what they and their families have to go through, everyday.</span></span></i><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Think about those who don't have elders to fall back on, or worse, they are not even blessed with a family.</i></span></span></span></span></i><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>If you need to compare at all, compare your life with someone who is less blessed than you are and count your own blessings. </i></span></span></span></span></i><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i>Compare yourselves with better spouses, children, parents or friends and strive to be better persons. If you really have to compare, compare with what really matters.</i></span></span></span></span></i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"></span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfJ_TPW1NEsBnCk-PPwgiq-Qhp-hkt0OhVOtcd6A-xsFtUUTeZtLkNyJYnIYx-ugwpzUh8teKFoL4rmVDKgmfmg267lJQOGYBcUM54dAihC-8m-f1FjSeVTL6j1rTctktqlJE0R7gZXn8/s1600/Quote-on-counting-your-blessings.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="480" data-original-width="464" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfJ_TPW1NEsBnCk-PPwgiq-Qhp-hkt0OhVOtcd6A-xsFtUUTeZtLkNyJYnIYx-ugwpzUh8teKFoL4rmVDKgmfmg267lJQOGYBcUM54dAihC-8m-f1FjSeVTL6j1rTctktqlJE0R7gZXn8/s320/Quote-on-counting-your-blessings.jpg" width="309" /></a></div>
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NatsBKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12835358606769835037noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-306738986144273990.post-1799233569447744272018-03-01T16:32:00.001+05:302019-09-25T11:43:16.328+05:30First Impressions<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-8E2tDWTX-d0SRVOVzzlLQ_IHJWCcCgWRtacy_NiFpkCyWcc8gJGC5_YJCvFXPGSfa-v3IUOKz5GLuL7JPHQaxWiYDas67Qnv6kzp9jqaFj1jJeQPFH9W9Qw6PtixKg6DQS_c_dZ3CrQ/s1600/Meaningless-Resume-Profiles-Quote-about-first-impressions-02212015-600x600.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="600" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-8E2tDWTX-d0SRVOVzzlLQ_IHJWCcCgWRtacy_NiFpkCyWcc8gJGC5_YJCvFXPGSfa-v3IUOKz5GLuL7JPHQaxWiYDas67Qnv6kzp9jqaFj1jJeQPFH9W9Qw6PtixKg6DQS_c_dZ3CrQ/s320/Meaningless-Resume-Profiles-Quote-about-first-impressions-02212015-600x600.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">First meetings can be deceiving. We cannot really judge a person on the basis of a single meeting, unless we are psychic. Yet we mostly go by first impressions. But beware, because our quick judgements may impact our lives forever.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">As a kid we were always told, "The first impression is the last impression". But as I grew older, I experienced the opposite in many cases, in my personal as well as professional lives. Classmates who I abhorred in the initial days of college, turned out to be true and lasting friends. Women who sounded like progressive liberal women over the first cup of coffee, turned out to be regressive and bitchy. Candidates who seemed smart and hardworking in the interviews, turned out to be over-smart and sluggish. A manager who sounded like a cool visionary turned out to be myopic with a twisted mind. There are even instances where people seemed impressive till they opened their mouth!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It is only after a considerable number of interactions that we can truly understand the nature of people. Sometimes it take days, sometimes months and sometimes even years to actually understand people. </span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVl7S7XiNTokjueLSLYsx2vfSQDRSM0BucL72xru5FAgjWtnZdV9n1RthQZZ111ThlFq2D5V3AnKqERT5DYG28WnC2bS32Z1743msT60T4PckET9w-cUSiKNAkM4W-TeeTRXTqT4s8ymk/s1600/A+Pretty+Face+Doesn%2527t+Mean+A+Pretty+Heart.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="342" data-original-width="500" height="217" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVl7S7XiNTokjueLSLYsx2vfSQDRSM0BucL72xru5FAgjWtnZdV9n1RthQZZ111ThlFq2D5V3AnKqERT5DYG28WnC2bS32Z1743msT60T4PckET9w-cUSiKNAkM4W-TeeTRXTqT4s8ymk/s320/A+Pretty+Face+Doesn%2527t+Mean+A+Pretty+Heart.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I recently read an article <a href="https://www.psychologicalscience.org/observer/how-many-seconds-to-a-first-impression" target="_blank">"How many seconds to a first impression?"</a> An excerpt from it says:</span></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">"</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Like it or not, judgements based on facial appearance play a powerful
role in how we treat others, and how we get treated. Psychologists have
long known that attractive people get better outcomes in practically
all walks of life. People with “mature” faces receive more severe
judicial outcomes than “baby-faced” people. And having a face that
looks competent (as opposed to trustworthy or likeable) may matter a
lot in whether a person gets elected to public office." </span></span></i></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It is a well established fact that we are easily deceived by looks. Good first impressions might work briefly in business relationships, where you don't really have to spend much time together and the only motive is to get the work done. But when it comes to personal relationships, be it familial or friendship, deceiving first impressions may affect life-long relations. When people start showing their true colours, it might already be too late, and you might get stuck with them for the rest of your lives. It may be even possible to distance yourself from such people who are outside family. But when such people are in close family or social circle, your lives continue to remain uncomfortably entwined. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">So, while it is natural to be deceived by first impressions, basically due to <a href="http://meaningring.com/2016/05/14/primacy-and-recency-effects-by-rolf-dobelli/" target="_blank">"primacy effect"</a>, it is not wise to be influenced so easily. We should learn and practice to evaluate people over time, and from varying aspects. Don't be quick to judge people, neither negatively nor positively. Take your time, take it slow. </span></span></div>
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NatsBKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12835358606769835037noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-306738986144273990.post-82649951478350698232018-02-14T07:00:00.000+05:302019-09-25T12:05:42.865+05:30Family is Family<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwZHiUOJYNhEgG03lTFaqj_U5-BFkkzMeDXwVNvkQvhpQgRzHOnnh0gKjFg9o7EyeZKkRiKfuwyMfF8YMGtbmD6q8vJjXcimSsK5rNgA1xsVtJAfKAT52APLLytJXVYqoX3SHFZDpjDow/s1600/767f08e0f13cdd4fc0da5c7cf6b02595.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="552" data-original-width="736" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwZHiUOJYNhEgG03lTFaqj_U5-BFkkzMeDXwVNvkQvhpQgRzHOnnh0gKjFg9o7EyeZKkRiKfuwyMfF8YMGtbmD6q8vJjXcimSsK5rNgA1xsVtJAfKAT52APLLytJXVYqoX3SHFZDpjDow/s400/767f08e0f13cdd4fc0da5c7cf6b02595.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">When you get married, you just don't get married to your spouse, you get married into his or her family. And unless you embrace your marital family as your own, your marriage is not complete.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">No family is perfect, so neither is yours nor your spouse's. It's natural to see your maternal family in the brighter light, but it's not right to demean your marital one. Women often complain that they are looked upon as an outsider by their in-laws. But the question is if they had even tried to become an insider! Most women around me say, "I can never see my mother-in-law as I see my own mother!" And then they complain that they are not treated like a daughter by their mothers-in-law. The truth is that you will feel like an outsider till you want to feel like an outsider.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The hypocrisy of our individuality is that we want everyone around us to take an interest in us, while we are not at all interested in making that kind of an investment in them. And that's where the problem lies. When you wish people to accept you as you are, you must be open to accept others as they are too. By virtue of birth, you have already accepted members of your maternal family, no matter how crazy they are. Accepting members of your marital family is harder work, it needs effort and your will. You just need to open your heart and open your mind. The same holds true while welcoming a person getting married into your family. You cannot expect to "take" all the time, you have to "give" too. Else, you will just stop "receiving" altogether one day.</span></span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvHRaVuNeaEzSz_k_Dzmoxii3lPecDb0liSXvgeiKUOBFZuNf2a6OQdfeIUl3ER9oHmdy54tgugd00BvONG1YIqOecx1uJjuNHzJ9uP_G1hQj_8QPBsnMrFHpO0X0ymQGQWwuQzaMmF5g/s1600/0a3257c0175493e0af80fb23bf4ce938--quotes-on-family-blended-family-quotes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="920" data-original-width="736" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvHRaVuNeaEzSz_k_Dzmoxii3lPecDb0liSXvgeiKUOBFZuNf2a6OQdfeIUl3ER9oHmdy54tgugd00BvONG1YIqOecx1uJjuNHzJ9uP_G1hQj_8QPBsnMrFHpO0X0ymQGQWwuQzaMmF5g/s400/0a3257c0175493e0af80fb23bf4ce938--quotes-on-family-blended-family-quotes.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The equations in a family doesn't remain the same forever. When new ingredients are added by virtue of marriages and birth, or subtracted by virtue of death or circumstances, flavours of a family change. The proportions of sweetness, saltiness, sourness or spiciness goes up and down along the line. That's life. The only thing that we need to take care of is that the flavour shouldn't turn bitter. You might not like everyone in the family and everybody may not like you. You cannot please everyone and everyone may not be pleasing to you. The only thing you can do is play your part. As Ma rightly says, "Don't fret about what they think of you or what they do for or against you, you just keep doing your own part. Rest God will take care of".</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Since I got married, life's been a roller-coaster, especially in terms of emotions and situations. Having to stay in a joint family, with each person having an individual set of issues isn't easy. Each day brings its own menu. A cocktail of sweet, salt and sour. A mock-tail of drama, action, romance, tragedy and comedy. Each day in varying proportions. But having a supportive and understanding spouse, who is on the same page as you ninety-eight percent of the times, has been my greatest blessing. A lot have changed since I had introduced <a href="https://natasha-pointstoponder.blogspot.in/p/this-is-one-long-overdue-post.html" target="_blank">t</a><a href="https://natasha-pointstoponder.blogspot.in/p/this-is-one-long-overdue-post.html" target="_blank">he family</a> to my readers. Our Delhi hostel-home has been almost reduced to nuclear families. With the addition of new ingredients and dynamic situations, the flavour graph have changed shape several times and intra-equations have been modified. But clear communications and frank conversations, and mostly a clear head, kept saving the days.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">What I have understood over the years is that when it comes to sub-relationships within an ever-expanding family, </span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">it is very important to rationalize with a clear head</span></span></span>. It is very, very easy to get caught in a web of words and insecurities, and to get carried away by a whirlwind of emotions. Only undiluted communication, trust, love and empathy can keep growing families intact. While complaining about what the others don't do for us, we should think about what we don't do for them. And instead of holding grudges, we just need to remember the times when the other has been there for us.</span></span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW4-aoB59oRA9nyQqAZ-qn9KKvdS6PqNDkRkDiHLQIQ-dp0kgmHLC0dIYJ4SNGyKX39GDRje8gsxyLWaQrNZAom3Gegt3JNFKzuePvxLrWBo2MzeedrUAq1PtNDq21yeQc1BjpHdyipr0/s1600/92a5c16f9f8c2ad18890fb873a50d449.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="493" data-original-width="640" height="307" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjW4-aoB59oRA9nyQqAZ-qn9KKvdS6PqNDkRkDiHLQIQ-dp0kgmHLC0dIYJ4SNGyKX39GDRje8gsxyLWaQrNZAom3Gegt3JNFKzuePvxLrWBo2MzeedrUAq1PtNDq21yeQc1BjpHdyipr0/s400/92a5c16f9f8c2ad18890fb873a50d449.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Whether it is your maternal family or your marital one, it is not about individuals, it is about team work where individual roles sum up. So open up, give your new family a chance, invest in them and play your part with love. Give yourself a chance in your new role. And trust me, lifelong affection and warmth will be guaranteed.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Happy Valentine's Day.</span></span></span></div>
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NatsBKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12835358606769835037noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-306738986144273990.post-90033920296504253942017-12-06T00:55:00.001+05:302019-09-25T11:43:43.053+05:30Wishing For A Hearth<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0jYcV8uGeZpqipu8WpUVdb0pLrtiGOlIdCS3_A7XMWY8uKB22z9IZIIbLEU7mx_mjnH7D6JDULhAqfESznVsl9TTxnCqjXR05jNWmMgOSbr5LWdJcy8w4BkOsA8nj9j7UAoNNLPSftzM/s1600/home-is-where-the-hearth-is1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="897" data-original-width="1295" height="276" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0jYcV8uGeZpqipu8WpUVdb0pLrtiGOlIdCS3_A7XMWY8uKB22z9IZIIbLEU7mx_mjnH7D6JDULhAqfESznVsl9TTxnCqjXR05jNWmMgOSbr5LWdJcy8w4BkOsA8nj9j7UAoNNLPSftzM/s400/home-is-where-the-hearth-is1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Lonely heart, lonely alone,<br /> Cold people, coldness adorned;<br /> Intense thoughts, laughter long gone,<br /> Home doesn't feel like home.<br /><br />No one cares, nobody knows,<br /> Like guests, come and go;<br /> Like mismatched puzzle pieces,<br /> A wrong picture, they always show;<br /> What do you expect?<br /> With a closed shutter;<br /> What can you find?<br /> When hearts are not aflutter.<br /><br />So much can change,<br /> With people alone;<br /> Sinking your heart,<br /> Like a heavy stone;<br /> Smiles all lost,<br /> Replaced by snickery;<br /> All that now remains,<br /> Is neat mockery.<br /><br />Wishing for a hearth,<br /> To call our own;<br /> Wishing for some rain,<br /> For all that we have sown;<br /> Reclaiming the warmth,<br /> Reclaiming our youth;<br /> Living our life,<br /> Like we really should.</span></span></div>
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NatsBKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12835358606769835037noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-306738986144273990.post-87877206235403380932017-12-03T22:51:00.000+05:302019-09-25T12:07:28.472+05:30Foodie, really?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj81fwTBHafiDu1kSOzC0-XRi20N9thnkm6cprWpKRjkxJ0NtZm6NA9OiqYCTZGlW54Ycw9UtSZBnISMMRWT4NAzq9PaaN68oVOb3KEPoDTpynyiYQARc61aYwh9qTzHfynNqZGHz04apQ/s1600/foodie_624x350_61456917455.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="624" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj81fwTBHafiDu1kSOzC0-XRi20N9thnkm6cprWpKRjkxJ0NtZm6NA9OiqYCTZGlW54Ycw9UtSZBnISMMRWT4NAzq9PaaN68oVOb3KEPoDTpynyiYQARc61aYwh9qTzHfynNqZGHz04apQ/s400/foodie_624x350_61456917455.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">You say you love food and that you love to eat. So you call yourself a "foodie". Hhhhmmm. Let's check out the following.</span></span></div>
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<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I hate sharing my favourite food. Let me have it quickly when nobody is around.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I see something I like in your lunchbox. Hand it over to me!</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">What's that on your plate? </span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Hey, don't you dare touch my plate!</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I love this dish! Lemme eat quickly so that I can load my plate with further helpings.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Bring my favourite food in your lunchbox!</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Why should I bring your favourite food for you? I would rather save it for dinner.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I don't like what's being cooked for lunch/dinner. Lemme go out/order and gorge on something I love.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Freebies! Will eat/drink as much as I can and grab some for later too!</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">What are you having? Hand it over!</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Hey you owe me a treat! </span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">What? I owe you a treat? Go to hell.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Hey, what are you cooking? I love that. I am coming over!</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">There are more people to eat yet! So what? I want more.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I am full. I think I can still gulp down some more...</span></span></li>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bJ0R87mTwaJVCEV7MsIf8lIbOocwAl3zq_uhMnHCyTkCvB-YThxmfu-HQVPiWWZoM0hlo8NpB-ViOLqXQzhCK36dZr1j6okNdK7NHUjIXnTd9dUfcmOTlSuZjkZIccO5MuRS8zAYIt0/s1600/30691-greedy-child-1200.1200w.tn.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="627" data-original-width="1200" height="208" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9bJ0R87mTwaJVCEV7MsIf8lIbOocwAl3zq_uhMnHCyTkCvB-YThxmfu-HQVPiWWZoM0hlo8NpB-ViOLqXQzhCK36dZr1j6okNdK7NHUjIXnTd9dUfcmOTlSuZjkZIccO5MuRS8zAYIt0/s400/30691-greedy-child-1200.1200w.tn.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Does most of the above sound like you? If yes, then my friend you are just plain greedy, not a foodie. And yes, you lack some basic etiquette too. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">If the above don't sound like you but you still do love to eat, then you are someone who enjoys and appreciates food. But you may or may not be a foodie.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Foodies (traditionally known as gourmet, gastronome and epicurean) appreciate food in all forms. They like trying out new dishes and cuisine. They love to explore food of different cultures. They don't order the same dishes when they eat out. They can recommend you good dishes and restaurants. They love to share food so that the others can enjoy it too. They love to feed people as much as they love to eat. They don't gulp down food, but enjoy its essence in every bite. They know and are curious about cooking styles, ingredients and culinary history. Most them love cooking too. They are quite experimental when it comes to food. They understand that cooking is an art and are passionate about food.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">So, are you really a foodie?</span></span></div>
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NatsBKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12835358606769835037noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-306738986144273990.post-85239262193296066952017-11-15T18:09:00.000+05:302019-09-25T12:12:09.815+05:30Life Ain't Smooth, Ever<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3XFJfAlDib_Cya4MOJx58cEcpti2aH3x_WtewOgHsPawNZx60UY64iFgsu8Oe8bxJxw0_NIA-F193y16eeZ_c0qz_aFqlDeagWhNDuZJy9l-wjF5Ib9jem14kqSHiVZyi4k5Wrr2eroE/s1600/4203355-William-Cowper-Quote-A-life-of-ease-is-a-difficult-pursuit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="1600" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3XFJfAlDib_Cya4MOJx58cEcpti2aH3x_WtewOgHsPawNZx60UY64iFgsu8Oe8bxJxw0_NIA-F193y16eeZ_c0qz_aFqlDeagWhNDuZJy9l-wjF5Ib9jem14kqSHiVZyi4k5Wrr2eroE/s640/4203355-William-Cowper-Quote-A-life-of-ease-is-a-difficult-pursuit.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Having a smooth life is the ultimate wish, isn't it? In my short life till now, one thing I have absolutely learned is that life is anything but smooth. It can never be a cakewalk.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">They say, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade" <i>(Other versions include, "grab tequila and salt", "make orange juice and leave the world wondering how you did it", etc.)</i> Easier said than done though. It may be hard but it is not impossible.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Life will always throw challenges on your face. It may be in the form of people, health or situations. You might have to stay or work with people whose wavelengths don't match with you. You might not be keeping well, or have to take care of of someone who doesn't keep well all the time. You might be in a difficult relationship. You might have difficult children or relatives. You might have a difficult boss or subordinates. You might hate your job but need to continue due to various reasons. So challenges can be anything, but it's up to you how you take them on.</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJip9TCO4DWDyoOjRyHC-kWBhuPJB8bbpEhdGRKa8z3OTpNFCKATtbCPKeG2F5eFMENc6ZU15uCFYDG15OwARWXkp4ikvVRX37_6wO4jdKbiMm_wcTeuCh5Yi84i1XYV4mZTT3BOVLLvU/s1600/lessons-quotes-pictures-3-cfeaf302.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="375" data-original-width="600" height="250" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJip9TCO4DWDyoOjRyHC-kWBhuPJB8bbpEhdGRKa8z3OTpNFCKATtbCPKeG2F5eFMENc6ZU15uCFYDG15OwARWXkp4ikvVRX37_6wO4jdKbiMm_wcTeuCh5Yi84i1XYV4mZTT3BOVLLvU/s400/lessons-quotes-pictures-3-cfeaf302.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We can crib, we can cry. Or we can take life head on and turn each challenge into a life lesson. Instead of blaming God for all of our problems and resigning to it as His will, we should remember that God helps those who help themselves. </span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Most of us are unhappy because we compare our lives with others, who we think are doing better than us. But everyone is fighting their battles. All that glitters is not gold. So you never know, what they are going through beneath the surface. And if at all you have to compare, compare your lives with those who are lesser privileged than yourselves. Look for inspiration in people who are not as blessed as you (in health or wealth or relationships) and yet making t</span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">he best of their lives. </span></span> Believe me, if you start counting your blessings, your problems will already shrink halfway. </span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Problems and difficulties in any form are the ingredients that season our lives. We should not be scared of them and embrace them openly. Look for the positives even when you are in deep shit. Find some humour in your situation (I personally do that). And at the end of it, we can only emerge out stronger and more seasoned. Without problems, our life would be just bland and we can never understand the true meaning of joy. And we humans never really appreciate things that come easy, do we? So tell life to bring it on.</span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>You may also like my similar posts <a href="https://natasha-pointstoponder.blogspot.in/2014/05/help-yourself.html" target="_blank">Help Yourself</a> and <a href="https://natasha-pointstoponder.blogspot.in/2013/08/thankful-gratefulhappy.html" target="_blank">Thankful & Grateful=Happy</a></i></span></span></span></span><br />
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NatsBKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12835358606769835037noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-306738986144273990.post-41141360184840721182017-08-08T23:30:00.000+05:302019-09-25T12:12:27.578+05:30Some and the Others<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">A donkey which carries load without a whimper, is loaded with more and more. Nothing is different in case of a willing man. The only difference is that the load is more mental rather than physical.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">In a family, some make all the sacrifices, while the others miss out on nothing. While some chose or are expected to be the ever-selfless, the others just want the rest of them to rotate around themselves. Some willingly take on more and more responsibilities so that the others can sail through comfortably. In the process, they forego their own wishes and desires, while the others look upon their sacrifices as their moral obligations and familial or filial duties. And if by mistake, they stop for a moment to think about themselves, they are ruthlessly reminded of their "priorities".</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">When some are ready to take on more and more load, why should the others even bother to care? The others simply believe that some exist to service their needs and fulfill their expectations. And when some are ready to comply, where is the problem!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Sometimes, the only fault of some is that they are the older ones and/or that they have bigger hearts. And by default, they are expected to give up their lives for the others; to put themselves at the end of the line and serve the others first. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Some say that their happiness lies in the happiness of others. But the
irony is that the others are happy by making only themselves happy. Well, some are just emotional fools, aren't they? But is
it really possible to make others happy when you are are not happy
yourself. Is it really selfishness to think about yourself for a moment?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">For what they do, some will get the little respect, but not the empathy; the love but not the similar sacrifices; the reverence but not the devotion. And that little respect, love and reverence also ends up as shards of glass for the eyes of the others.</span></span></div>
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NatsBKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12835358606769835037noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-306738986144273990.post-30324646678102697782017-03-08T00:30:00.000+05:302019-09-25T12:12:49.785+05:30Empowering Sisterhood<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: small;">From time immemorial, men has testified that women are complex beings. Being a woman myself, I can admit the same without <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">the</span> slightest flinch. Apparently for the same reasons, woman<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">-</span>to<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">-</span>woman dynamics are complex too. The relation may be of family</span><span style="font-size: small;">, friends, colleagues, neighbors or simply acquaintances, it does not matter. It is only logical that women be bound by the universal bond of sisterhood. Who can understand better the pain and suffering, elation and feelings of a woman than another woman? No one.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">But instead of understanding and holding each others hand, we spend our energy working against another woman. They say that a woman is a woman's worst enemy. Well, that's absolutely true.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">Women are always competing with each other, consciously or subconsciously. And what are we competing about? Everything, literally. Husband, children, job, employer, house, landlord, vacations, electrical appliances, furniture and furnishings, garden, outings, cars, clothes and accessories, cooking skills, housekeeping skills, daughter-n-law, son-in-law, grandchildren and everything that we possess or experience. Remember the aunty who is always showing off her child's or husband's achievements, her clothes and jewellery or her assets. The bottom line is that people have to acknowledge that we are the best and that we have the best.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">When a woman passes by, we scan her. We scan her up and down, front and back, as long as she is in our range of vision. Yeah, we put you guys to shame. And if we are with other women, we then start playing critic; whether her dress/make-up/accessories were awesome/okay/hideous/<i>"didn't she look at a mirror before coming out?"</i> or whatever.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">While at college, two of my female classmates shared a room in the hostel. One of them had a good sense of style while the other didn't. Instead of pointing out and helping her friend when she wore odd combinations, the first one often ridiculed her in front of a third female.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">On more than one occasion, when I have gone out with any one of my closest friends, I thought she could have dressed better. But I didn't tell her. Well, I didn't go and made fun of her in front of a third person either. But such memories stayed on and made me wonder why I didn't I tell them. May be I was apprehensive as to how she would have reacted.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">At work, I notice that women hardly compliment each other. Even if the other is looking great, they won't say a word. They would just scan you. Similarly they won't tell you kindly that your look is flawed. </span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">Apart from clothes, we can criticise anything and everything about our contemporaries. Be it her skin colour, her body, her husband, her job, her children, her marital status, her family, her accent, her pronunciation; everything. It is because of fellow women that we are under constant performance pressure at home as well as at work.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">Be it at home, work or society at large, women want to have all the attention. We want to be the cynosure of all eyes. The most popular female at school, at college, at home and at work. We want to be given importance at all times. A man gets grinded between his mother, sister and wife. All three (mostly two at a time, the wife being the common element) fight to be the most important woman in his life. Daughters-in-law play dirty games and pretense to be in the good books of the mother-in-law. Kitchen politics is the worst kind of negativity that women engage in. At work too, instead of helping each other out, women try to push the other aside and move ahead. Many resort to cheap tactics like backbiting and spreading rumours. But the competition for power is only with the same gender. Yeah, we lack ambition.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;">Jealousy is perhaps the worst trait in women. It leads her to do incredibly bad things. A jealous mother-in-law tries to poison her own son's mind against his wife. A jealous sister-in-law plots to gain the upper hand in the household. A jealous sister tries to malign her blood sister's reputation. A jealous co-worker sabotages her colleague's work to move ahead. Older women don't support younger ones' aspirations and ways just because they didn't get resources, support and opportunities in their own lives! Jealous women even resort to black magic to ruin other women and their families.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">In the race to be the most superior, popular and important, we fight and destroy each other, completely oblivious to the fact that they are failing miserably in the race of life. </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">We say men are against women. But honestly, it is more women who are against women than men. Read history, look around you; you will see ample examples.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">But why? Why can't women support each other and move ahead together? Men all over world move together ahead with a spirit of brotherhood and comradeship. Why can't women? We are so busy in pulling each other down, that we fail to see that together we can be invincible. Together we can work wonders. Together we can create happier homes and societies. Together we can make workplaces more creative and positive. Together we can build a happier, safer and better world.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">We talk about gender equality. So many people, groups, communities, forums and organizations are working towards gender parity and equality. But World Economic Forum predicts that the gender gap would not close entirely till the year 2186. That's almost 170 years from now. I believe that if women start working together, this gap can be bridged much faster.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Let's pledge to empower womanhood by empowering each other. Let's mentor younger women. Let's support each other in pain and suffering and uplift one another. Let's lead as well as enable other women to lead. Let's help each other by being truthful and honest in our opinions and advice. Let's give our daughter, sister, daughter-in-law, sister-in-law, younger colleagues what we didn't had or get. Let's be each others' strength and inspiration. Let's march ahead together, hand-in-hand, leaving no woman behind.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Cheers to universal sisterhood! </span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_x03nrQcMitFT1NLldye1OpH3A_kft64S11j-Bp_BxjC8Uv_U-AIf7pAv7qpPNOmN0BCZKgo1FSGYtiqqlam5NPOwRng_b_MIb98dSTPGf27NuAlMQG1KavLD3ZPEolEI48R3PPFOzSo/s1600/73c01738a822ac5d5acd050d16d10af8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_x03nrQcMitFT1NLldye1OpH3A_kft64S11j-Bp_BxjC8Uv_U-AIf7pAv7qpPNOmN0BCZKgo1FSGYtiqqlam5NPOwRng_b_MIb98dSTPGf27NuAlMQG1KavLD3ZPEolEI48R3PPFOzSo/s320/73c01738a822ac5d5acd050d16d10af8.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><i>P.S.--The skeleton of this post had been sitting in my "Drafts" for two years. And finally it sees the light of day! Happy International Women's Day.</i></span></div>
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NatsBKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12835358606769835037noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-306738986144273990.post-23363413971655891122017-02-14T00:30:00.000+05:302019-09-25T12:13:32.613+05:30Make or Break<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbSoCqkUbuRhOz_6pQiIooc6mQF4lz1gEJX-qspKDv0uJtOOcHAzoz3NYQZXu2aI4qKUUl67xSNnz9QpT4_2eB3gOEb8yFJNxA6Tc1CYxu50CcTBmsO1pR7QYwpxG8umV-qos8iKHI-s4/s1600/CQWwbqyW8AAeUyq.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbSoCqkUbuRhOz_6pQiIooc6mQF4lz1gEJX-qspKDv0uJtOOcHAzoz3NYQZXu2aI4qKUUl67xSNnz9QpT4_2eB3gOEb8yFJNxA6Tc1CYxu50CcTBmsO1pR7QYwpxG8umV-qos8iKHI-s4/s400/CQWwbqyW8AAeUyq.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">How do you feel in the aftermath of a fight or a tiff off with your spouse/pa<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">rtner? Are you able to go about your life as if nothing happened? Personally I feel as if something heavy is <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">placed on my heart and the sun is not shining upon me anymore. May be you feel the same way too. Then <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">how do you go on when the <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">one thing y<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">ou do consistently in your love life is fight?</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">When
we are not at peace or happy in our personal relationships, we cannot
do anything right. We cannot concentrate on any tasks at hand or carry
out our duties/responsibilities properly. When our relationships are
gloomy, everything around us become gloomy. And it applies to both
partners, irrespective of their gender.</span></span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Your</span> <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">partner</span> is not a perfect <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">person</span>. But again nobody is perfect. So neither <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">are</span> <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">you</span>. But together <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">you</span> two can be perfect. When <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">you </span>accept a person in your life, <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">you</span> need to do that with all his/her imperfections and misgivings. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">We all commit mistakes in our lives. But <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">w</span>e cannot hold grudges against each other for things we said or did in the past. Forgive and move on<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">, that<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">'s the mantra.</span></span>
Else, you will only destroy yourselves and the people around you. It is
hard to forgive, but it's much more harder to admit when we are wrong
ourselves. But <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">it is only wise</span> to apologize and move on. Like love, forgiveness
is also a two-way street. And open communication<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> i</span>s the <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">path.</span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> </span></span> </span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">They say a woman can either make a home or break one. Yes, it is true. But <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">step one is that</span></span> a woman can either make her man or break <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">him.</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> </span>Being a woman is not easy. And when it comes to being the woman in your man's life, it is not a piece of cake. Girlfriends and wives widely have the reputation of being naggers and destroyers of peace <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">in <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">thei</span>r man's life</span>, someone who <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">enjoys</span> wasting their man's hard earned money. <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">We</span> are the butt of all popular jokes in the market. Laugh they all may, but we play a life-changing role in our man's life.</span></span></span></span><br /> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Men may be strong physically<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">;</span> but emotionally, they are weak. And that's where we come in. We are the backbone of our man's life. <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Even though </span>most of them will never admit it. <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">They say that <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">b</span></span>ehind every successful man, there is a <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">woman. True again. <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">But</span> <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">other than</span> professional, financial <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">or</span> social success, that<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> </span>success <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">c</span>an very well be in the form of happiness, peace of mind and emotional stability <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">as well</span>. And when <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">a man is emotionally stable, happy and at peace, he <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">i</span>s all set to achieve anything he wants.</span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I feel that being an woman<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> </span>is a process of continuous evolution. </span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Becoming a wife from a girlfriend is the ultimate <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">commitment</span>. <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">You</span> become the better half of your man<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">. </span>And to <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">truly become the better half, <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">you</span> have to first become a better person <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">your</span>sel<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">f</span>.</span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Ladies, <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">you</span> have a much bigger role to play in th<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">e</span> circle of life tha<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">n</span> <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">you</span> can ever imagine. It is <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">you</span> who has the true power to mold and nurture the family. <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">You</span> are the beginning of change because <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">you</span> <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">set examples for</span> the <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">youngest generation.</span> You can set the course of <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">your personal life</span> as well as t<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">he family at large</span> in the direction you want. <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Mrs. Po<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">rtokalos in the movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" rightly says that if the husband <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">is called</span> the head of the family<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">, then <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">t</span></span>he wife is the neck, and the head cannot move without the neck's cooperation!</span> </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">A <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">healthy</span> marital partnership<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> </span></span></span>starts with being the solid <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">shoulder</span> of your husband in all <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">spheres of life</span>. You have to pick him up when he falls, <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">correct</span> him when he errs, be his <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">honest critic and his n<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">orth star</span></span>. You are the one who can bring out the best<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">as well the</span></span> worst in him. You can be the rock which either anchors him<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> or shatters him. </span>So, <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">you</span> will have to decide, whether <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">you</span> want to make your man or break him.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">In the modern world of <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">"feminism", </span>I <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">might be sounding like <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">old school<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">!</span> I am not asking to you take shit. But we <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">do </span>not have the right to give shit either. <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">After all, t</span>rue feminism is about equality, isn't it? And no matter <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">i</span></span>n wh<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">ich</span> age we might live in, the ingredients of a healthy relationship <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">are very much still the same.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> <br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">More on nurturing a healthy relationship in</span> <a href="https://natasha-pointstoponder.blogspot.in/2016/02/the-thing-called-love.html" target="_blank">"The Thing <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Called Love</span>"</a> .</i></span></span></div>
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NatsBKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12835358606769835037noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-306738986144273990.post-89093397042282242132017-01-03T16:44:00.000+05:302019-09-25T12:14:04.636+05:30The Bridal Camaraderie<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidFD8DJHjj0n44lvBVemeQPivHjs7w_-eWhnKgnxWyI4NOT-unGNfTuplWYg16TLjKQYP8Giwo0KQLDNhZh_mRQzQNLf01P8HnC93MTkWBprMU-08hgNlFhoUBvdps8V-ILETKiYFaK3E/s1600/il_340x270.1109561335_nqvu.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidFD8DJHjj0n44lvBVemeQPivHjs7w_-eWhnKgnxWyI4NOT-unGNfTuplWYg16TLjKQYP8Giwo0KQLDNhZh_mRQzQNLf01P8HnC93MTkWBprMU-08hgNlFhoUBvdps8V-ILETKiYFaK3E/s1600/il_340x270.1109561335_nqvu.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">A couple of months back, both SloMo and GB got married. It was a joint wedding and the whole month of October passed by in a hectic daze. GB moved away with Mom and Dad to pursue a career opportunity and his wife is likely to join him soon there. Mrs. SloMo moved in with us, maintaining our full house status. And I got a double promotion and became the eldest daughter-in-law among three.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Mrs. SloMo is kind of between jobs now and is mostly home. She spends her time doing her own personal tasks as well as the tedious household chores. She cooks a variety of dishes for all of us and keeps the laundry basket empty. She cleans things and coaxes the maid to clean hard-to-reach corners. Recently, she got some seasonal plants for the balcony. She tries to keep the house in order. Sigh, my heart goes out to her. She is acting exactly the same way I did when I moved into the house after I getting married. Yeah, been there, done that. But she does not know what I know, that one day she will tire out of putting in extra efforts and do only what is necessary. With so many people in the house, it is just next to impossible to have it the way you want.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Seeing my sister-in-law, I see myself four years back. As the newly appointed warden of the madhouse, I was determined to tame the characteristic males to help around the house. I determined to keep the house tidy an organized as I have seen my mother and grandmother doing. With plants, I wanted a bit of home with me. With her around the house, I get really nostalgic. I feel as if I have started to share a bit of camaraderie with her. I share house management tips with her, my experiences and show her pictures of the flowers that bloomed in the same balcony. I understand the things that she must be going through I did as a new entrant in the house.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">And it suddenly struck me. There is a pattern to how every newly wedded girl behaves. We try to add positive enhancements to the place we live in. We want to bring in all the good things we have known and seen in running the house. We want to be appreciated for our efforts. We feel disconnected yet connected. We want be accepted. We look for our husbands' support all the time. We want to be praised. We want to be paid attention. We want to have our own corner. We want to have everything in order. We want to build an ideal home.We think we can be a superwoman!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Yeah, new brides do share a camaraderie. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">By the way, Mrs. SloMo is not SloMo at all.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i><a href="http://natasha-pointstoponder.blogspot.in/p/this-is-one-long-overdue-post.html" target="_blank">Read the family intro!</a></i> </span></span></div>
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NatsBKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12835358606769835037noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-306738986144273990.post-17557447849218982472016-12-08T21:15:00.001+05:302019-09-25T12:14:23.284+05:30The CJ<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9m1Za2YzvxoLwIEdfmZ02wi03kPkLkjRTZNVQVwj2j4n67Ac_DwJS-El0Ml-9sGjfjjGng0aHi9-sSkNRfhI7fujGZ3N06-pqGCb8M3hpywSSCG_v1ICsFu1XC4W8nZCWi7pHtqogCBc/s1600/car-audio-system-sound-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9m1Za2YzvxoLwIEdfmZ02wi03kPkLkjRTZNVQVwj2j4n67Ac_DwJS-El0Ml-9sGjfjjGng0aHi9-sSkNRfhI7fujGZ3N06-pqGCb8M3hpywSSCG_v1ICsFu1XC4W8nZCWi7pHtqogCBc/s400/car-audio-system-sound-1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">When I am traveling, even when we are commuting within the city, music is an essential. Over time, when I have traveled either with friends or family, the task of carrying a playlist has often fell on me. And I am quite particular about the playlists. Not to boast, but my co-travelers have mostly enjoyed and appreciate<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">d</span> <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">my playlists</span>.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">With time, controlling the playlist in the car has become a part of my slight OCD condition (which I think I suffer from!). I feel anxious when I am not in charge of the car music and become irritated when someone changes the ongoing track (especially if I like that track) or play their own collection. In fact, my mood has been spoiled on many <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">occasions</span> because of such instances. Yeah, I know I am sounding like a crazy lady here. But that's the truth.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">By the way, I call myself the CJ. Yeah,<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> </span>Car Jockey! <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Ins</span>pired by DJ and RJ of course.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Our car music system doesn't have a remote control.<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> Worse, the controls for the media player a<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">re on the steering wheel. </span></span>When Az is driving, I mostly sit in the front passenger seat (my favourite seat by the way). But sometimes due to various reasons (like older co-passengers or to adjust more people), I take the seat behind the driver's seat. Yeah, even my car seats are fixed and I am uncomfortable in the other seats. Anyways, when Az is driving, I simply ask him to <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">move on to the next track, whenever necessary. But sometimes, there are certain people accompanying us, that too <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">sitting</span> on the front passenger seat, w<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">ho</span> <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">keep on</span> asking Az to change the track. Really enough to set me off.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Whe<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">n I am traveling in someone else's car and the music is on, I keep calm. And while in <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">cab, <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I simply put on my earphones and enjoy.</span></span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Fortunately</span>, my parents' car's music system has a remote. Last year, when we visited them, I had to occupy the last row seat during a trip. But with the remote, I could easily do my job. When we returned back to Delhi, I reali<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">z</span>ed that I had carried back the remote in my bag. See, that's how seriously I take my job of being the CJ.<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> So please, don't mess with my music.</span></span></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">NB: <span class="_Tgc"><b>Actual meaning of Car Jockey.</b></span></span></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span class="_Tgc"><b>Car jockeys</b> are people in Indonesia who</span><span class="_Tgc"> solicit by the side of the road a random commuter who does not have enough passengers to legally use a carpool lane. The jockey offers to go along with the commuter for a fixed price. This is a way to bypass carpool restrictions requiring a certain number of passengers.</span></span></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span class="_Tgc">In the United States, a <b>car jockey</b> is also known as a parking lot attendant and is responsible for parking vehicles or issuing tickets in a parking lot or garage.</span></span></span></i></div>
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NatsBKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12835358606769835037noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-306738986144273990.post-70751521619246622532016-10-14T15:24:00.000+05:302019-09-25T12:14:45.377+05:30Becoming Family<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Being the eldest daughter as well the eldest daughter-in-law is no piece of cake. From surviving on instant noodles to running a household of seven people, I have come a long way. Being brought up in a nuclear family, where my father was the only male, I never had to deal with <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">collective </span>unorganized male habits. And suddenly I found myself in a house with five grown-up male children, who were being used to waited upon hand and foot by their mothers and aunts.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Az's parents, Mom and Dad, stay abroad. The current household consists of the two of us, his two younger brothers and three younger first cousins (one girl and two boys, initially it was one boy). The five of them are students and so it is more like managing a hostel. Thankfully Az is of the helping (around the house) kind.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">In the initial months of marriage, I was not working and the girl had not joined college yet. So she used to help me out in many aspects. But when she joined college, she could not help me in the same way as earlier. And with so many boys in the house, the house never looked organized and straight. I realized that I cannot go on like this. <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">If you have</span> watched the Bollywood flick called "Satte Pe Satta", the Indian version of Hollywood's "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers", you would understand when I say that my condition was more or less like the eldest brother's wife (subdue<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">d version)</span>. So one fine day, I <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">told</span> the residents upfront that I am not expert homemakers like their mothers and aunts, and cannot keep on cleaning up after them. I would need their help in managing the house. And the sweet devils did oblige, with some push. </span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8cM4LJLr02Ap8CLeqzF8r5TSAnSK-uGcaKvYCJeOccrIdKsB5mXvxi-yGmmxthLU04rnS_gyWu7J7VIQcX0oozQQwpwJSTQC5xiYRdw3JEUiYSvquOss4fd9XUOIvsw-uCSrSl32L48g/s1600/Wall-Decal-Quote-Vinyl-Sticker-Art-Families-are-Like-Fudge-Funny-Kitchen-wall-decor.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="327" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8cM4LJLr02Ap8CLeqzF8r5TSAnSK-uGcaKvYCJeOccrIdKsB5mXvxi-yGmmxthLU04rnS_gyWu7J7VIQcX0oozQQwpwJSTQC5xiYRdw3JEUiYSvquOss4fd9XUOIvsw-uCSrSl32L48g/s400/Wall-Decal-Quote-Vinyl-Sticker-Art-Families-are-Like-Fudge-Funny-Kitchen-wall-decor.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">As much as I had to adjust to the new personalities around me, the others too had to adjust to me. I was not used to having so many men at home and they were not used to having an unconventional woman in the house. I am not really the "sugarcoating words" kind and would rather call a spade a spade rather than talking behind someone's back. So initially, there used to be some awkward moments. But all the kids are well disciplined when it comes to behaving with elders and unlike most families, there has been no rudeness with the daughter-in-law. And <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">gradually, I became mother-cum-sister figure in the house (at<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> least I think so!)</span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I feel the experience of staying in a hostel during my higher studies, and later on my own after I started to work helped me a lot in settling down in my marital home. But the most important factor was that we opened up our hearts to each other. The second important factor has been open communication. If there is any hard feelings in the house, we encourage each other to come upfront and make up. It is also encouraged that the kids share their problems, so that we can help each other to find solutions.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">And it has been mostly fun. As all the residents are from the younger generation, there is not much formality involved. We watch movies late into the night on weekends, order outside food often, pull each others' legs and yet watch each others' backs.<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> And with so many people, there is <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">one thing or the thing always happening. <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Drama, action, roma<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">n</span>ce, humour, games, <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">tears</span>, <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">smiles</span>; you name it and you have it. There is absolutely no dearth of entertainment in the house.</span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Over the period of time, I <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">am </span>gr<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">owing </span>as a person. I am also learn<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">ing</span> to let go of things which I cannot control<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> </span>like <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">hav</span>ing the cushions straight at all times!. Still it is a long way to go. I still lose my mind from time to time. But all's well. And today it feels as if I have been always a part of the Khan family. </span></span></div>
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NatsBKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12835358606769835037noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-306738986144273990.post-41823095579415394082016-09-21T17:55:00.000+05:302019-09-27T14:42:09.605+05:30Then and Now #1: Value of Money<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu6SlSyCHaN3xJ_76i5x2erWbwdHjO_dEJfUMwEQTffoVmjprJiI5R0j6e7tGPo6D9dnCpy6npwbGLjkE-xBl_S_EnhahO3PldZ15Q_So3fI7eVipj0kNTPCLoEmJPBpEObngS22OiOJ0/s1600/You-will-never-know-the-value-of-money-until-you-worked-hard-for-every-cent.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhu6SlSyCHaN3xJ_76i5x2erWbwdHjO_dEJfUMwEQTffoVmjprJiI5R0j6e7tGPo6D9dnCpy6npwbGLjkE-xBl_S_EnhahO3PldZ15Q_So3fI7eVipj0kNTPCLoEmJPBpEObngS22OiOJ0/s320/You-will-never-know-the-value-of-money-until-you-worked-hard-for-every-cent.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">After
post-graduation, when we started working, a friend shared that her
female boss wore <i>kurta</i>s of some brand called "W". It was actually the
first time that we became aware of the existence of such a brand. So
"W" became a wish. Even today when I can actually afford, I still think
twice before going for a "W" item, even on discount. I would stare at
the item, evaluate if it really worth it and then decide. And today, my
sister-in-law and her friends wear "W" to college.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Thankfully most of the kids we went to school or college with, were of the same economic class. And frankly, I rarely compared myself with kids who used or wore expensive stuff. As a student, I had one one mantra, "When I shall earn, I will own what I desire". There was a <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">wish</span>list of small as well big things<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">. </span>Actually I still have a wishlist. Owning a branded jeans or a hair-straightener became a reality only when I started to earn. Today, such things are in necessary items list for the college going girls in the family. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I tell the kids (whoever is younger than me!) at home that we should not forget where we come from. We should not forget our roots. I see around me that even kids with humble backgrounds are becoming increasingly brand conscious. There are several factors. Peer influence and media exposure being the major ones. Increase in pocket money adds to the spending power of kids. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Contrary to kids today, we go<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">t</span> pocket money only when we moved out of our native place to study and started staying in hostels. And it was pocket money only in name. It was actually<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> a<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> fixed amount of money every month to take care of all expenses.</span></span> <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">In my case</span>, my pocket money took care of my basic toiletries, notebooks and stationery, phone calls, photocopies, projects, outside food, minor college event contributions, local conveyance, etc. I used the college/university library and computer centre <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">to the fullest so <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">that I didn't have to<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> buy</span></span> books <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">or a computer. </span></span>And I also saved a bit from it to get <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">tiny gifts for the family while going home <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">during</span> breaks<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">. </span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">In our times, the aim was to save parents' money wherever possible, and ask them for extra money only when absolutely necessary. </span></span>Now I see students debiting all expenses related to basic needs and studies to their guardians. Their pocket money actually takes care of their material desires<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> a</span>nd wishes <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">mostly</span>. And even after they have been provided for, they still have demands<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">For me, there was no pride in spending my parents' hard-earned money to fulfill my personal desires. Today, my pride lies in the fact that I am capable of fulfilling my own wishes as well as that of my parents. And I am proud of my parents as well as my grandparents that they made me the woman I am today. Fortunately, my close friends are of the same class of society<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">, </span>with similar upbringing. So I had never actually felt the peer pressure of brand consciousness or the need to meet any peer standards. I strongly feel that if <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">one</span> fulfills his/her own desires with <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">his/her</span> parents' money, what excitement will be left for when you can actually buy things with the money you have earned!</span></span></div>
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<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">When I was
a child, I had a couple of pairs of shoes. When Ma was a child, she had
just one pair of shoes, black in colour. And the same pair worked for
school as well as other occasions. Deta had walked either barefoot to
school (a distance of around seven kilometers) or wearing open rubber
sandals. He and his siblings used to get one pair of new shoes during the Durga Puja festival. And if the new pair were small for him, he would
rather manage with those (by soaking them in water to stretch them out)
instead of giving them back because there was no guarantee that he would
actually receive a fresh pair in the right size. <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">D</span>uring our times,
things had changed of course, and we had more than a couple of pairs.
But humble stories like that of my parents' childhood helped to keep us
grounded, to remember to be thankful for what we <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">had</span>. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I completed my basic education in small town in upper Assam. For graduation, I went to Kolkata. When I came home <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">during</span> my first semester break, I bragged
in front of my granny that I watched a movie with tickets which cost
over a hundred rupees in black. I thought she would be surprised at the
cost. Instead she reprimanded me right away saying that my parents are
working hard and making sacrifices back home so that I can have a good
education, and I was wasting money on movies. Her words brought me back to my senses. So this was the way I was
raised. I have been taught the value of money and hard work by my elders
and that has kept me grounded.</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b>P.S.: </b>As
I was growing up, I remember my parents and other relatives sharing
stories starting with the opening line, "In our times,....." And now
that I am a grown-up myself, I have started doing the same thing;
comparing things how we used to do as kids and how kids do them now.
Since I have decided to start my post series called "Then and Now", I am
actually feeling somewhat old already. These posts are not aimed at
reprimanding today's kids and their value system, but merely reminiscing
about the bygone time and to accept that outlook on life changes over
the generation.</span></span></i><i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> Also please note, y<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">ou may or may not be able to relate to <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">the post. But <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">if like me, you had a typical middle-class <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">upbringing</span>, you <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">most <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">probably</span> will.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></i><br />
<br />
<i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">And<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> y</span></span>es, I <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">am definitely feeling much</span> old<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">er</span> now.</span></span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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NatsBKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12835358606769835037noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-306738986144273990.post-71984257470259322012016-08-04T21:30:00.000+05:302019-09-25T12:15:33.695+05:30The Reign of Delhi Auto-Wallahs<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjizc5JNzaaGuN0TwC9zMGQoY7fLfoVuNKrirVhFTAOcqzPWOAJ0Q929Q0ypcUiyjdboBK-v1-wnGpoq0GVtckwYaI6cUIa_FYRODmE02IEzjZBFCopRk6q5DKMu-mU7mlsDdFzzwF8qWw/s1600/delhi-auto-650x330.jpg"><img border="0" height="202" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjizc5JNzaaGuN0TwC9zMGQoY7fLfoVuNKrirVhFTAOcqzPWOAJ0Q929Q0ypcUiyjdboBK-v1-wnGpoq0GVtckwYaI6cUIa_FYRODmE02IEzjZBFCopRk6q5DKMu-mU7mlsDdFzzwF8qWw/s400/delhi-auto-650x330.jpg" width="400" /></a></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">As I woke up to the alarm-clock on my cellphone today, my auto-<i>wallah</i> (auto-rickshaw driver) called to inform that he is not well and would not be able to drop me to the office today. I said it's okay and told him to take care. I was grateful that he didn't ditch me at the last minute. I left home a little early as I would have to catch an auto-rickshaw on the road. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I didn't anticipate any problem as auto-rickshaws (popularly referred to as 'auto') are usually available. I waited on the road for some time. Not a single vacant auto came by. A couple of vacant ones came by but refused to take me to my office location. I decided to reach the nearest auto stand. I hailed an e-rickshaw. As my luck would have it, the auto stand was devoid of even a single auto. Once again filled autos passed by while vacant ones refused me. I walked ahead. I opened a cab app on my cellphone on the go and booked a cab. It reached me in under seven minutes. The fare was around thirty rupees more than the auto fare. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Last month the auto unions and taxi unions of Delhi went on strike. Their main issue was the local app-based cab services like Uber and Ola, who offered their services at low fares. They called off their strike after three days. A similar strike happened earlier this year in the month of April. During both times I made use of the app-based cab services. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQaPEPiQyv3-thItKIVncYHLwQZJzLbyiYvZiYBOi1VCFj0siUsVzUQzcElC29Sk4PeDSajSjfIszPbumT0YOK_q_pCjxu5iE2xuHgW1h2PVMWkiJRYKK6jiCRHj0QYoOew08NdLSSM-g/s1600/Rickshaws-in-Delhi.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQaPEPiQyv3-thItKIVncYHLwQZJzLbyiYvZiYBOi1VCFj0siUsVzUQzcElC29Sk4PeDSajSjfIszPbumT0YOK_q_pCjxu5iE2xuHgW1h2PVMWkiJRYKK6jiCRHj0QYoOew08NdLSSM-g/s400/Rickshaws-in-Delhi.jpg" /></a> </span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">My regular auto-<i>wallah</i> had been fixated a couple of months back (God bless him!). He doesn't charge me extra for being a regular. There had been a couple of regular auto-<i>wallah</i>s before him for short duration, but they had demanded extra over and above the actual fare. During the month of Ramadan, I requested him to drop me home in the evenings as well and he made sure that I reached home in time for <i>Iftaar</i>. But auto-<i>wallah</i>s like him are a very rare kind in Delhi. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Waiting on the road in Delhi to hail an auto is a nightmare. Eight in ten refuse you. And when they agree, they quote an exorbitant fare and refuse to go by the fare meter. Autos in a stand are the worst kind. They are goons. In Delhi, there is a rule that auto-<i>wallah</i>s cannot refuse a commuter especially a woman. My brother-in-law suggests that I should hop into an auto and ask the driver to take me to my destination. And if they refuse, I should call the traffic police to complain. That is what the men do. But sincerely, I am scared. What if the auto-<i>wallah</i> takes me elsewhere? What is the guarantee of my safety? Once a traffic policeman compelled an auto-<i>wallah</i> to give me a ride, and he had grumbled the whole way. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">When an auto-<i>wallah</i> refuses to go, I usually don't say anything and move on to the next. I don't have the time for the heated words. But sometimes when I am infuriated, I say a few angry words. Few times, I have dialled the given complaint number, but I seriously don't know if that helps. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The other day, when I stepped out of the metro station in the evening, it was raining hard. So I could not take a rickshaw. Az usually picks me up from the metro station but he was out of town that day. I saw a couple of autos across the road. I opened my umbrella and went up to them. The auto-<i>wallah</i>s were sitting in a single auto and chatting animatedly. I asked them if they would go. One of them spoke to refuse saying that there was a jam ahead, and they all broke out into a laughter. I didn't understand what was so funny. Unfortunately my internet was not working, and so could book a cab. The sight of the laughing and gossiping auto-<i>wallah</i>s infuriated me. I dialed the complaint number, but it went unanswered. I dialed several times, but alas. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Most auto-<i>wallah</i>s act like ass-holes (pardon the language but can't help it) and they have the audacity to go on strikes. They harass us, charge us inflated fares, leave us stranded on the road, refuse to charge by the meter and refuse to give us a ride. Yet they think they are kings of public transport. Why wouldn't we book a cab? It charges only a few rupees extra (except the surcharge cases), but it comes to our doorstep, it is comfortable, it goes by the meter, it doesn't refuse to give us a ride. When I visited Bengaluru (Bangalore), I saw that app-based cabs are the most convenient means of transport there and they are actually preferred over autos. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_QUzCPpMSuTqpGgrqgQwCVnH4wklLFTc4xGdXa0zhGDfGaFdVOP-Ruaa76ncMunmJ9c9k9vEotfkG9ZTZOfq7Be_XKFPO-63Hki5q8DbtkDICwc7vSwIt4mr8KJvsB4gxAd4B6_wT5uc/s1600/1336Auto-Rickshaw.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_QUzCPpMSuTqpGgrqgQwCVnH4wklLFTc4xGdXa0zhGDfGaFdVOP-Ruaa76ncMunmJ9c9k9vEotfkG9ZTZOfq7Be_XKFPO-63Hki5q8DbtkDICwc7vSwIt4mr8KJvsB4gxAd4B6_wT5uc/s320/1336Auto-Rickshaw.jpg" /></a> </span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">But every coin has two sides. Once, an auto-<i>wallah</i> was telling me that the base fare being low, they are not able to earn enough and they have so many responsibilities. So they are bound to charge extra. I have seen commuters abusing auto-<i>wallah</i>s, treating them like crap. A few days back, there was an incident when a couple of men refused to pay the fare after reaching their destination. When the auto-<i>wallah</i> resisted and insisted that they pay, one of them shot at him. Luckily it was not fatal. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">For a commuter, auto is always the easiest to hail an auto on the road. If the auto-<i>wallah</i>s have not been bullies, it is the most convenient mode of transport. I have chatted with several auto-<i>wallah</i>s during my rides. They are mostly the hard-working kind, have dreams for their children, have families and are God-fearing. Several times, I have hailed an auto near an auto-stand and they had put the meter down. And I ask them, "You are not from this stand, na?" They reply, "No. How did you know?" I answer, "You are charging by the meter. These stand ones don't do that". Most of them don't even want to go on a strike. They lose out several days' earnings during the strike and they can't afford that. But such auto-<i>wallah</i>s are bullied by their peers. They are forcibly stopped and abused. But again, when they are not stopped, many of them demand exorbitant fares from commuters, taking advantage of the situation! </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Again a couple of weeks back, I left my cellphones in the office cab. When I realised the blunder, I took an auto to go after the cab. The auto-<i>wallah</i> lend me his phone to make the necessary calls. And before I left his auto, he asked me to delete the numbers I had dialled including my own. I was amused and taken by his truthfulness and kindness. I paid him a little extra. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">So I am not saying that all auto-<i>wallah</i>s have negative attitude. But yes, most of them are not nice people. If the authorities are more stringent with laws and rules, the auto-<i>wallah</i>s can neither exploit nor be exploited. Also, we the public has to become more aware of our rights and laws. The handful of the honest auto-<i>wallah</i>s are a flicker of hope though. After ten dishonest insolent auto-<i>wallah</i>s, if I encounter an honest and kind eleventh one, my faith is restored. Only if the entire auto community operates honestly, the auto will become the true public's transport. </span></span><br />
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<i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">You can also read my earlier auto-rickshaw post <a href="http://natasha-pointstoponder.blogspot.in/2011/11/luxury-of-auto-ride.html">"The Luxury of an Auto Ride"</a></span></span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span></span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Read about a woman's account of trying to hail an auto at night <a href="http://www.hindustantimes.com/delhi/december-16-special-i-knew-he-fleeced-me-but-i-had-no-option/story-SsFBODct0B6j6BULRDyU7M.html">here</a>. </span></span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span></span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Know more about Delhi's auto-strike <a href="http://www.ndtv.com/topic/delhi-auto-strike">here</a>. </span></span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span></span><br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><a href="http://apnaplan.com/5-ways-to-register-complaint-against-auto-rickshaw-in-delhi/">Here</a> are 5 Ways in which you can Register Complaint against Auto Rickshaw in Delhi. </span></span></i></div>
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NatsBKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12835358606769835037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-306738986144273990.post-45899710457105785492016-07-28T12:43:00.000+05:302019-09-25T12:15:59.756+05:30The True Us<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp3zOFqwHnjMPThgpcSCOJ8Ya1qzgclwb5zvCYEmzzFAC5V_YaMWctBGazTI75R8m9SnZpjyRqE61aFL-jnOIjhuNPyBa3F561F7qPYNRxYsw3JfcKr3TWWPKH6MMqasj7oEx6nvF0nss/s1600/Fear-Art-The-Two-Faces-of-Public-Speaking.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhp3zOFqwHnjMPThgpcSCOJ8Ya1qzgclwb5zvCYEmzzFAC5V_YaMWctBGazTI75R8m9SnZpjyRqE61aFL-jnOIjhuNPyBa3F561F7qPYNRxYsw3JfcKr3TWWPKH6MMqasj7oEx6nvF0nss/s640/Fear-Art-The-Two-Faces-of-Public-Speaking.jpg" /></a></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">A cousin has been nicknamed "mother" by her friends because of her caring nature. But surprisingly she is hardly caring towards her immediate family. A granny used to go to lengths to help relatives and the underprivileged. But she often failed to see the pain of her own children. An uncle is very helpful to all relatives and friends. But at times can be ruthlessly rude to his own mother. An aunt who is utmost soft-spoken to everyone outside but is often bitter-tongued to her own family. An uncle who is a very jolly person and makes people smile, but can be extremely bad tempered at home. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Which is a person's true nature? The side which is displayed to outsiders or the side known at home. Why is it so easy for some to love outsiders rather than your own kin? Or is it much more easier to be unkind in words and actions towards our own family? Or <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">may be we simply take our family for granted.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> May be at home, we don't need to pretend to be a perfect person all the time. There is nothing to hide. People around us knows all about our past and present. They know who we are or where we come from. Several of them know us inside out. So it is easier to be our real self. It is easier to vent out our emotions when we are with people we are close to. Our anger, our frustration and our grief. On the other hand, happiness is something which can be shared with anybody nonchalantly.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">When we go out and make new friends and acquaintances, we always try to start with a clean slate. They know nothing of our past or of our shortcomings.We don't share parts of our lives that we are ashamed of or those we feel will put us in the poor light. We always make a conscious effort to portray ourselves as a wonderful person, all positive, all smiling. We want to be a person that everyone loves and likes to hang around with. Sometimes even our closest friend would not know all about us.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_IK-vq4YYdftDjxBABs2SvMzT2UhASv4FIqXov5C39BqvVX0at-Xc6nTYPAvslDXnyTp9wEnEAgnf2nLWlT9SA13UyJyIqXQiB928x0SE8vAwBgUgOKI2d59wpqHHhOg9bfTimZldMWQ/s1600/adhd-women.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_IK-vq4YYdftDjxBABs2SvMzT2UhASv4FIqXov5C39BqvVX0at-Xc6nTYPAvslDXnyTp9wEnEAgnf2nLWlT9SA13UyJyIqXQiB928x0SE8vAwBgUgOKI2d59wpqHHhOg9bfTimZldMWQ/s400/adhd-women.jpg" /></a></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Every one of us likes to be praised, to be remembered with fondness or even adulation. In this quest, we may tend to look outside home. Overlooking the emotional needs our closest family, we may try reach out to the extended one, to friends and even acquaintances with our generosity. But is it okay to do this? And why do we do this? Do we feel that we are not appreciated (or enough) at home, rebuked or humiliated for simple shortcomings, our opinions don't matter or we are not valued at home? Might be, don't you think?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">So it also becomes important that we appreciate our family members, that we don't ridicule at their mistakes but help them to correct themselves, consider their feelings while deciding things, make them feel loved with kind words and gestures. Our actions are all inter-connected, don't we see! </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Charity begins at home, they say. Quite apt, I would say. If we are at our best at home, we can be at our best outside rather than the other way round. But easier said than done, isn't it? I can be extremely patient at work, tolerating irritants and nonsensical colleagues. But with my family (especially my husband and sister), more than often I am capable of losing it. May be because they know that I am not perfect, they know that my conscience is clear. I know I can bare my emotions to them unabashedly without being judged. I am a kind of serious fellow at work. But at home, I laugh and joke hard. On a regular front, I am not really very easygoing and a kind of an introvert.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Sometime before getting married, I had a tiff with my kid sister. In the flow I said something hurtful to her and she was on the verge of tears. I apologized. But the damage was already done. After she recovered from the hurt I had caused, she gave me a very matured advice. She said, "I know you since we were babies. So I know you well, that you don't really mean the hurtful words you say, that there is nothing negative in your heart. But the people in your marital family don't know you, they don't know who you really are or your heart. So please watch your words and your tone".</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The question still remains, which is the true us? I believe when we are in our own skin, we are truly us, with all our shortcomings. And in this self, we are capable of becoming better persons. When we can better our base selves, our extended selves automatically become the best. So yes, charity has to begin at home. Don't you think?</span></span><br />
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<i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">This post has been <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">featured </span></span></span></i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">in <b><a data-saferedirecturl="https://www.google.com/url?hl=en&q=http://blog.blogadda.com/2016/07/30/spicy-saturday-picks-best-creative-writing-blog-posts&source=gmail&ust=1469960988862000&usg=AFQjCNF_JkBSAjanDEjcwDRbDOSn_2QAIA" href="http://blog.blogadda.com/2016/07/30/spicy-saturday-picks-best-creative-writing-blog-posts" target="_blank">BlogAdda's Spicy <span class="aBn" data-term="goog_258098671"><span class="aQJ">Saturday</span></span> Picks</a></b> on <span class="aBn" data-term="goog_258098672" tabindex="0"><span class="aQJ">30th July, 2016</span></span>.</span></i> </span></span></div>
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NatsBKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12835358606769835037noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-306738986144273990.post-83299052822572807312016-07-14T21:37:00.000+05:302019-09-25T12:16:27.751+05:30The Refreshing Rains<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A couple of days back in Delhi</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It seems that the rain gods have finally smiled upon Delhi with monsoon eyes. It is now raining almost everyday. After a spell of long hot weather, it is finally much cooler.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I have shared many a times that I am a rain fan. The rains soothes my heart and my mind. Most people I know say that they don't know like rains and that it <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">is depressing. But not me. </span>I feel that the greenery becomes more refreshing and more beautiful in and after rains. Sadly, most of Delhi lacks the lustrous green beauty of nature. My area of residence in the capital boasts of only congested concrete cages, stinking garbage dumps and broad blocked drains. When it rains, instead of the earthy petrichor, it is the stink that greets you. Our balcony looks more greener than the neighbourhood. So the rains here makes me sad and yearn for home instead. But thankfully my office is located in a plush residential area and greenery is abundant. So I am able to enjoy the beauty of nature during the rains sometimes. </span></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Today in the capital</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">In cities like Delhi, people dread the rains more than they long for them. A little rain is enough to cause traffic to come to a standstill. Right now I am in the office cab which is dropping us to the nearest metro station. It's just two minutes away from the office. But as it's raining now, I am stuck in a slow moving traffic and it is already been twenty minutes since we started. So I thought of tapping away my thoughts on the move. Two weeks back, I took the road instead of the metro and it had started to rain. It took two hours to reach home, forty five minutes more than usual.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">In the month of February earlier this year, it was a rainy morning and I was commuting in an auto-rickshaw in the morning. at several places on the way, water puddles were created. At one moment, I suddenly felt as if someone had thrown a big pail of murky water at me. A sedan car had just overtaken my auto from the left, cross<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">ing</span> a big puddle in high speed. It was winter. I reached office all wet and couldn't even sit for a long time. I placed the portable heater on my desk and finally managed to dry myself patch by patch.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Another</span> rainy morning last year, I <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">saw</span> a family of three taking a bath with the muddy water from a puddle. A<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">s I passed them, </span>I muttered a silent 'thank you' to the Almighty.</span></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A few days back</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Back home, rains are a part of regular life. We enjoy the weather by watching the rain, playing or walking in it, and savouring different delicacies. When water accumulates in the green house comp<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">ound, small fishes make way to the drowned lawn.</span> A couple of days back, my folks back home <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">shared that<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> a</span> few small fishes fell along with the rain. </span>Hailstorms are something that also excites us more. As kids, we used to collect hailstones and even eat them. I even enjoy the thunderstorms. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">But this side of the country, people go bonkers seeing the rain. When it rains heavily, people flock their rooftops or gullies to 'bath'. You ca<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">n<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> even see people rubbing their bodies with their hands as if they are <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">taking a shower in their bathroom. </span></span></span>I mean, I never seen people doing that back home. The kids in my marital family defines heavy rain as <i>"nahane wala baarish"</i> meaning one can take a bath in such <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">a shower</span>. And <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I say in a muted<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> voice</span></span>, "What??? Why??" Dance, jump, sing, play in the rain. Why bath?</span></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A flower in bloom today in my maternal home garden</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Being b<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">orn and brought up in Assam, I am used to carry an umbrella in my bag throughout the year. But in Delhi, I <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">rarely see people walking in the rain <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">using an umbrella. Women today are boarding the metro all wet, with no umbrella in their hands. <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">This year I am also not carrying my umbrella so as to avoid carrying extra weight. But I think I should.</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">In <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Assam, rains came as early as April this year. But again, that is how it is almost every year.<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> Humidity as high as ninety seven percent is experienced. But the rains always come as a respite.</span></span> Oh! how I miss home during monsoons<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">! Everything becomes so green and <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">refreshingly beautiful all around. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Leaving you with a video of how rain looks like back home. Not a very great video, but it gives a glimpse of how my home looks like during a spell of good rain. Do share <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">how rains make you feel.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">M</span>y rain posts:</span></span></i><br />
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<li><i><a href="http://natasha-pointstoponder.blogspot.in/2010/06/lovely-lovable-rain.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Lovely Lov<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">ab<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">le Rain</span></span></span></span></a></i></li>
<li><i><a href="http://natasha-pointstoponder.blogspot.in/2013/07/rain-bane.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Rain Bane</span></span></span></span></a></i></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i><a href="http://pratikshya-magicmoments.blogspot.in/2014/05/nature-and-light.html" target="_blank">Nature and Light</a></i></span></span></span></span>
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NatsBKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12835358606769835037noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-306738986144273990.post-79858992030493388682016-06-24T18:30:00.000+05:302019-09-27T14:40:37.851+05:30Silent Kindness<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWJmZWD2rxkGBd8-oRcLoK5JVYFDjnwiekAU9BcVnyjzrmgzZxBKBXj0RN6IXx4KV72I35KlU4Z0SNf0bfKycjUpYPEFr7mTtQAhb0sZtJCIdTIQ6UsHGZZvTcC6APyjCvOSGt3oTfIZs/s1600/43d0de23657822829d39a8ae268bb833.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWJmZWD2rxkGBd8-oRcLoK5JVYFDjnwiekAU9BcVnyjzrmgzZxBKBXj0RN6IXx4KV72I35KlU4Z0SNf0bfKycjUpYPEFr7mTtQAhb0sZtJCIdTIQ6UsHGZZvTcC6APyjCvOSGt3oTfIZs/s320/43d0de23657822829d39a8ae268bb833.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">So we are at the end of seven weeks of kindness. Focusing on kindness and being kind all these weeks had been a kind of spiritual experience. Doing something kind for someone and not telling them or letting them know, is another heat-warming experience. And when that person realizes what you have done for them, their expression on their faces is no less rewarding. I am really glad that I chose to take up this challenge.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">After my last week's reflection post, a brother tagged me in a post on FB that said, </span></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">"Overloaded doses on kindness has led to the world we encounter, a tight slap straight onto the cheek can save the planet in more ways than imaginable. Just make sure you have enough muscles/authority/power/lobby." </span></span></i><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">His remark made me reflect on my behaviour. For me, my world is my family on both sides. What would be the consequences if I lash out at people around me at home when I am angry/annoyed/upset with them? What would be their reactions? Would they still like to talk to me or start to avoid having any kind of conversations with me? Would a tight slap (literally or figuratively) save my world or hurl it towards bitterness? I know, in many situations, it is the stern word that works and not kind ones. But I believe the stern word would work effectively only if the concerned party holds you in respect (triggered by kindness and humanity) instead of spite or fear (triggered by muscles/authority/power/lobby).</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">What do you think?</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6c__ELx1f-5cpLjhNUINHuA-lX6nHNaVHY7zruzDKtruOWg6N674bej4Prz9VY72n6uDtMWaLDGOZJ0JY863LFgWdoEKyon-tRdFrAl58QnRMIeltk59oxgRprOvE9ci3E7gPbYmk4rQ/s1600/gratitude-kindness-quotes-4-638.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6c__ELx1f-5cpLjhNUINHuA-lX6nHNaVHY7zruzDKtruOWg6N674bej4Prz9VY72n6uDtMWaLDGOZJ0JY863LFgWdoEKyon-tRdFrAl58QnRMIeltk59oxgRprOvE9ci3E7gPbYmk4rQ/s400/gratitude-kindness-quotes-4-638.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i> </i></span></span></span><i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I am taking part in the first ever <a href="https://therichnessofasimplelife.wordpress.com/kindness-challenge/">Kindness Challenge (2016)</a> hosted by <a href="https://therichnessofasimplelife.wordpress.com/2016/06/20/week-7-kindness-challengesecret-kindness/#more-5508">Nikki from The Richness Of A Simple Life.</a><a href="https://therichnessofasimplelife.wordpress.com/2016/05/23/kindness-challenge-week-3-kind-energy/"> </a><br /> <br /> The weekly prompts: <br /> <a href="http://natasha-pointstoponder.blogspot.in/2016/05/starting-with-kindness.html">Week 1: Start you day with kindness</a><br /><a href="http://natasha-pointstoponder.blogspot.in/2016/05/the-kindness-around-us.html">Week 2: Observe kindness around you</a><br /><a href="http://natasha-pointstoponder.blogspot.in/2016/05/radiating-kindness.html">Week 3: Focus your energy on being kind to others</a><br /><a href="http://natasha-pointstoponder.blogspot.in/2016/06/being-kind.html">Week 4: Focus on doing something kind for someone</a><br /><a href="https://www.blogger.com/I%20am%20taking%20part%20in%20the%20first%20ever%20Kindness%20Challenge%20%282016%29%20hosted%20by%20Nikki%20from%20The%20Richness%20Of%20A%20Simple%20Life.%20%20%20The%20weekly%20prompts:%20Week%201:%20Start%20you%20day%20with%20kindness%20Week%202:%20Observe%20kindness%20around%20you%20Week%203:%20Focus%20your%20energy%20on%20being%20kind%20to%20others%20Week%204:%20Focus%20on%20doing%20something%20kind%20for%20someone%20Week%205:%20End%20your%20day%20thinking%20about%20kindness%20Week%206:%20Think%20about%20someone%20that%20inspires%20you%20to%20be%20better,%20kinder,%20gentler%20Week%207:%20Do%20something%20kind%20for%20someone%20and%20keep%20it%20to%20yourself">Week 5: End your day thinking about kindness</a><br /><a href="http://natasha-pointstoponder.blogspot.in/2016/06/kindness-inspired.html">Week 6: Think about someone that inspires you to be better, kinder, gentler</a><br />Week 7: Do something kind for someone and keep it to yourself</span></i></span></div>
NatsBKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12835358606769835037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-306738986144273990.post-75422645995655620092016-06-22T17:43:00.000+05:302019-09-25T12:17:24.278+05:30The Fart Thing<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2eh7_dV6FdKZANuiO3kUIG99iQ9mfJhBwXAMGpTW3q9icaqdB02eeJaTcEyEOVYKX9HxthArP3WvzuWdbDirqLl8oP3H3aOeugjeoaZyY9pZzBTDO4Jy9pCv5wvov1YKPUAs7VA72hC0/s1600/That-Wasnt-A-Fart-It-Was-My-Ass-Blowing-You-Kisses-Funny-Fart-Meme-Image.jpg"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2eh7_dV6FdKZANuiO3kUIG99iQ9mfJhBwXAMGpTW3q9icaqdB02eeJaTcEyEOVYKX9HxthArP3WvzuWdbDirqLl8oP3H3aOeugjeoaZyY9pZzBTDO4Jy9pCv5wvov1YKPUAs7VA72hC0/s400/That-Wasnt-A-Fart-It-Was-My-Ass-Blowing-You-Kisses-Funny-Fart-Meme-Image.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I am sure that since childhood, you have seen men farting unabashedly. They might be the men in your family, friends, male co-passengers in public transport or random men. They are mostly excused for their demeanor and seldom rebuked for it. In case of men, farting is as natural as speaking. After-all farting is absolutely a man thing, isn't it! Farts are discussed, analyzed, reviewed and even nicknamed. But what about women? <br /><br />As a kid, I actually believed that women don't break wind (a better word for fart, now that I am talking about women); that it is a phenomenon applicable only to men. Then I slowly grew up. I observed that women who broke wind in the presence of other women were ridiculed and made fun of. Breaking wind in the presence of men is still an unknown phenomenon. So I learned that women are not supposed to break wind in front of anybody. Another social dogma.</span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUIY9QofkfW5TJB9N1H0518SCRToLFzQxwgiV02nh62kSGhnNVxo7FQDTmoiWu226PYKESLfVcb1DpZdLBLSTkcVkUkcPjvIdM8Wy_5yaIo-MySScW3-r2O3Ou3fgW0mGk25aVW-uUO0w/s1600/MjAxMy01YWNkMzgyNDZmZTAxOWNk.png"><img border="0" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUIY9QofkfW5TJB9N1H0518SCRToLFzQxwgiV02nh62kSGhnNVxo7FQDTmoiWu226PYKESLfVcb1DpZdLBLSTkcVkUkcPjvIdM8Wy_5yaIo-MySScW3-r2O3Ou3fgW0mGk25aVW-uUO0w/s320/MjAxMy01YWNkMzgyNDZmZTAxOWNk.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br />I have no brothers of my own and have grown up with only one male in the house, my father. And he farts all the time. I share my marital home with five males and one female. So farting is usual business here too. But I have never seen (heard, felt, smelled, whatever) any female relative or friend, or any acquaintance for that matter breaking wind openly; except for the sudden bouts of foul smell in the women's compartment in the metro sometimes. But I do know women who burp ferociously. So it makes me wonder if women have learned to channelize their flatulence upwards instead<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">.</span></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlGP9yn32Z22KmxIjKOfU9xU2ghSFGLlZKWAZxoSxVgEnMyhTkqBkdVcNWFFCFuP2Sk76wyrXziLnp8XRq1KLIwUrfj7d3tc_RzMVoo8xAFMrnDH4E7uvM6zSM6-hxFsJA4AqQSR8sq3o/s1600/1349391744616_5143211.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlGP9yn32Z22KmxIjKOfU9xU2ghSFGLlZKWAZxoSxVgEnMyhTkqBkdVcNWFFCFuP2Sk76wyrXziLnp8XRq1KLIwUrfj7d3tc_RzMVoo8xAFMrnDH4E7uvM6zSM6-hxFsJA4AqQSR8sq3o/s320/1349391744616_5143211.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">In our societies worldwide, behavioural as well as habitual aspects are categorized as masculine or feminine. Snoring, sweating, burping, farting, smoking, drinking (in most cultures) or swearing/cursing are an absolute no-no for women. Which cultured lady does all of these? But they are perfectly okay for men though. On the other hand, tears, physical weakness, fear, gentleness, caring nature, household chores are considered unmanly. In fact not smoking or drinking is considered unmanly.<br /><br />Fart/Breaking wind is defined as "a reflex that expels intestinal gas through the anus" (Noun) or "expel intestinal gas through the anus" (Verb). So, it is a natural phenomenon for all human beings. The only difference is that while a man does it outrageously and openly, a woman has gained more control over it and wait for moments when she is alone or in a crowd where she will not be heard or pointed out.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4VV_k4OuS9LKY0DElQ2NcT_YrNEK_pd-dBL3AWWVdW2faIAo2zD9mgYx2SA_a5hKKG5TQHQFz1C-RB2vIVZUuEtD9gt2mw-2QHYBTCI8Zkh3AVvU3rjG9f_WRSHQl3AfXILcuGg1l4g4/s1600/87876bff2331ba0c59f51bda5ba86968.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4VV_k4OuS9LKY0DElQ2NcT_YrNEK_pd-dBL3AWWVdW2faIAo2zD9mgYx2SA_a5hKKG5TQHQFz1C-RB2vIVZUuEtD9gt2mw-2QHYBTCI8Zkh3AVvU3rjG9f_WRSHQl3AfXILcuGg1l4g4/s320/87876bff2331ba0c59f51bda5ba86968.jpg" width="284" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I was recently reading an article where a woman was sharing how her husband rebukes her if she accidentally breaks wind in his presence, while he did that all the time. Readers remarked that her husband is ridiculous, arguing that couples who fart in front of each other and laugh about it are not pretending about anything and have healthier relationships. There are other articles where it is said that women who fart unabashedly are real women and that they are not oppressed by social norms.<br /><br />I personally believe that farting in presence of other people is only a case of etiquette. If it is considered manner-less for women to fart in public, it should be true in the case of men too. If little girls are taught to control their farts till they are alone, little boys should be trained similarly (instead of being amused when they do that). But I also know this is not going to happen in ages. As long as we are alive, we have put up with men farting around us pathetically. And the only thing we can do is cover our noses or hold our breath.</span></span></div>
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NatsBKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12835358606769835037noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-306738986144273990.post-77528008247544426402016-06-20T16:20:00.001+05:302019-09-27T14:40:37.845+05:30Kindness Inspired<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijnbaoRPDqbJ8mf3aA0r9mGO1of7O6pmWp8d0ak2wuLFb5njpfGbJ3u1Bc9ddhtORElaaQUbnHzxm8adylWckGq_QzXr-ESr2lr7SHT1WmctrKmN7BBKBeTWw0mac9hkUuQ7urB_QZ0ek/s1600/GratitudeSunflower.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijnbaoRPDqbJ8mf3aA0r9mGO1of7O6pmWp8d0ak2wuLFb5njpfGbJ3u1Bc9ddhtORElaaQUbnHzxm8adylWckGq_QzXr-ESr2lr7SHT1WmctrKmN7BBKBeTWw0mac9hkUuQ7urB_QZ0ek/s400/GratitudeSunflower.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">When we choose to look at <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">and acknowledge kind <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">people around us, it becomes possible to be inspired. </span></span>There are many people around me that inspire me to be better, kinder and gentler. The most dear to me among them are the following:</span></span></div>
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<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i><b>My maternal grandfather:</b></i> He is the most ge<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">ntle and <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">soft-spoken</span> man I have known in my life. I h<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">ave never seen him shouting at anyone <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">and he is always kind in words and behaviour towards all. </span></span></span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i><b>My maternal grandmother:</b></i> She is ready to help people at the drop of the hat. She goes beyond the call to help relatives<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">, friends <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">and</span> people</span> who are less privileged than her. She never thinks twice about giving away her own stuff in order to fulfill someone else's needs<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">.</span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i><b>My mother:</b></i> She has taken after her<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> father when it comes to being kind in <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">behaviour<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">, words and thoughts. Even when someone is being unkind to her face, she is not able to answer back with ha<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">rsh</span>ness.</span></span></span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i><b>My parents-on-law:</b></i> They are <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">ever ready to help people around them, be it relativ<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">es or mere acquaintances. In several cases, even before <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">they are approached for help, they do it. They have been supporting <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">several families in various ways in whatever way can over the years now.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><b><i>My husband:</i></b> He has taken after his parents and always stands with a 'happy to help' banner. <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">But s</span>ometimes he really goes overboard in his kindness <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">a</span>cts much to my as well as his parents' annoyance<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">.</span> He always tells me<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">,</span> "Th<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">ere is always a better way to say things</span>", and practices the same.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></li>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>I am taking part in the first ever <a href="https://therichnessofasimplelife.wordpress.com/kindness-challenge/">Kindness Challenge (2016)</a> hosted by <a href="https://therichnessofasimplelife.wordpress.com/2016/06/13/week-6-kindness-challenge-kind-inspiration/">Nikki from The Richness Of A Simple Life.</a><a href="https://therichnessofasimplelife.wordpress.com/2016/05/23/kindness-challenge-week-3-kind-energy/"> </a><br /> <br /> The weekly prompts: </i><br /> <i><a href="http://natasha-pointstoponder.blogspot.in/2016/05/starting-with-kindness.html"><b>Week 1:</b> Start you day with kindness</a><br /><a href="http://natasha-pointstoponder.blogspot.in/2016/05/the-kindness-around-us.html"><b>Week 2:</b> Observe kindness around you</a><br /><a href="http://natasha-pointstoponder.blogspot.in/2016/05/radiating-kindness.html"><b>Week 3:</b> Focus your energy on being kind to others</a><br /><a href="http://natasha-pointstoponder.blogspot.in/2016/06/being-kind.html"><b>Week 4:</b> Focus on doing something kind for someone</a><br /><a href="https://www.blogger.com/I%20am%20taking%20part%20in%20the%20first%20ever%20Kindness%20Challenge%20(2016)%20hosted%20by%20Nikki%20from%20The%20Richness%20Of%20A%20Simple%20Life.%20%20%20The%20weekly%20prompts:%20Week%201:%20Start%20you%20day%20with%20kindness%20Week%202:%20Observe%20kindness%20around%20you%20Week%203:%20Focus%20your%20energy%20on%20being%20kind%20to%20others%20Week%204:%20Focus%20on%20doing%20something%20kind%20for%20someone%20Week%205:%20End%20your%20day%20thinking%20about%20kindness%20Week%206:%20Think%20about%20someone%20that%20inspires%20you%20to%20be%20better,%20kinder,%20gentler%20Week%207:%20Do%20something%20kind%20for%20someone%20and%20keep%20it%20to%20yourself"><b>Week 5:</b> End your day thinking about kindness</a><br />Week 6: Think about someone that inspires you to be better, kinder, gentler<br />Week 7: Do something kind for someone and keep it to yourself</i></span></span></div>
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NatsBKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12835358606769835037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-306738986144273990.post-70132460168100607612016-06-11T16:54:00.000+05:302019-09-27T14:40:37.838+05:30Gratitude For Kindness<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Ramadan started earlier this week. So the challenge activity of <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">appreciating</span> kindness in our lives everyday was perfectly in sync with the sp<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">irit of the auspicious</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"> month.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">In the past week, I appreciated and at the same time thanked the Almighty for the kindness <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">surrounding me in various forms:</span></span></span></span></div>
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<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I am not being able to contribute towards the preparation of <i>Iftaar</i> (breaking fast at sunset) meal<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> as I manage to re<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">ach home just in time for <i>Iftaar</i>. <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">It is</span> the <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">kids (<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">young<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">er siblings)</span></span> at home who are doing it as a team. I am not forgetting to appreciate or thank them for their efforts.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">My regular <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">auto-rickshaw agreed to pick me up from the office in the evenings as well and tha<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">nks to him, I am able to reach home in time for <i>Iftaar.</i></span></span></span> </span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Loving and supporting famil<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">ies (maternal as well as marital)</span></span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Most caring husband</span></span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Good working environment</span></span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">A brother-in-law getting me mango<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">-shake and </span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">s</span>ister-in-law suggesting me to eat a banana</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> at <i>Sehri</i> (early morning meal before starting fast at sunrise) <span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> </span></span></span></span></span></span></li>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Read my Ramadan posts, <a href="http://natasha-pointstoponder.blogspot.in/2013/07/the-gift-of-ramadan.html" target="_blank">The Gift of Ramadan</a> and <a href="http://natasha-pointstoponder.blogspot.in/2015/07/humbled-by-fasting.html" target="_blank">Humbled By Fasting</a>.</span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I am taking part in the first ever <a href="https://therichnessofasimplelife.wordpress.com/kindness-challenge/">Kindness Challenge (2016)</a> hosted by <a href="https://therichnessofasimplelife.wordpress.com/2016/06/05/week-5-kindness-challenge/" target="_blank">Nikki from The Richness Of A Simple Life.</a><a href="https://therichnessofasimplelife.wordpress.com/2016/05/23/kindness-challenge-week-3-kind-energy/"> </a><br /> </span></span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The weekly prompts: <br /> <a href="http://natasha-pointstoponder.blogspot.in/2016/05/starting-with-kindness.html">Week 1: Start you day with kindness</a><br /><a href="http://natasha-pointstoponder.blogspot.in/2016/05/the-kindness-around-us.html">Week 2: Observe kindness around you</a><br /><a href="http://natasha-pointstoponder.blogspot.in/2016/05/radiating-kindness.html" target="_blank">Week 3: Focus your energy on being kind to others</a><br /><a href="http://natasha-pointstoponder.blogspot.in/2016/06/being-kind.html" target="_blank">Week 4: Focus on doing something kind for someone</a><br />Week 5: End your day thinking about kindness<br />Week 6: Think about someone that inspires you to be better, kinder, gentler<br />Week 7: Do something kind for someone and keep it to yourself</span></span></i></div>
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NatsBKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12835358606769835037noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-306738986144273990.post-77987039451094476222016-06-06T12:33:00.000+05:302019-09-27T14:40:37.848+05:30Being Kind<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">With the rising temperatures in Delhi<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">(<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">maximum temperatures around 45 <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">degrees</span> <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Celsius</span>),</span></span></span></span></span></span> it i<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">s <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">difficult</span> to keep one's cool let alone be kind<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">. I<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> personally don't do good when I am in the kitchen and dripping with sweat <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">in such extreme weather conditions. That is the worst time to have a sensible word with me. Nonetheless, I tried hard over the weekend to be calm and not to lose my cool.</span></span></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">In the <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">past week</span>, I was kind to others by:</span></span><br />
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<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Holding the elevator for a person who was rushing from a distance to get in.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Doing dirty laundry which was piled up by the boys <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">over</span> many days.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Doing a task myself which was assigned to someone else (but connected to me) as that person was having a really busy day.</span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Remembering to water the plants.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Not cursing my boss when I had to stay back in office for <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">two and half hours due to a last moment task. </span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Compliment<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">ing a friend</span> when she <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">wore a dress different from her usual style.</span></span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Being courteous (<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Read more of it in <a href="http://natasha-pointstoponder.blogspot.in/2014/10/being-couteous.html" target="_blank">"Being Courteous"</a>)</span></span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Not being harsh on the new maid who didn't report on the day she promised (or a <span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">couple of more days after that!)</span></span></span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">Being polite to obnoxious co-passengers on the metro. </span></span></span></span></span></li>
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<br />
<i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">I am taking part in the first ever <a href="https://therichnessofasimplelife.wordpress.com/kindness-challenge/">Kindness Challenge (2016)</a> hosted by <a href="https://therichnessofasimplelife.wordpress.com/2016/05/29/kindness-challenge-week-4-be-kind/#more-10381" target="_blank">Nikki from The Richness Of A Simple Life.</a><a href="https://therichnessofasimplelife.wordpress.com/2016/05/23/kindness-challenge-week-3-kind-energy/"> </a><br /> </span></span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">The weekly prompts: <br /> <a href="http://natasha-pointstoponder.blogspot.in/2016/05/starting-with-kindness.html">Week 1: Start you day with kindness</a><br /><a href="http://natasha-pointstoponder.blogspot.in/2016/05/the-kindness-around-us.html">Week 2: Observe kindness around you</a><br /><a href="http://natasha-pointstoponder.blogspot.in/2016/05/radiating-kindness.html" target="_blank">Week 3: Focus your energy on being kind to others</a><br />Week 4: Focus on doing something kind for someone<br />Week 5: End your day thinking about kindness<br />Week 6: Think about someone that inspires you to be better, kinder, gentler<br />Week 7: Do something kind for someone and keep it to yourself</span></span></i></div>
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