Thursday, July 28, 2016

The True Us

A cousin has been nicknamed "mother" by her friends because of her caring nature. But surprisingly she is hardly caring towards her immediate family. A granny used to go to lengths to help relatives and the underprivileged. But she often failed to see the pain of her own children. An uncle is very helpful to all relatives and friends. But at times can be ruthlessly rude to his own mother. An aunt who is utmost soft-spoken to everyone outside but is often bitter-tongued to her own family. An uncle who is a very jolly person and makes people smile, but can be extremely bad tempered at home.

Which is a person's true nature? The side which is displayed to outsiders or the side known at home. Why is it so easy for some to love outsiders rather than your own kin? Or is it much more easier to be unkind in words and actions towards our own family? Or may be we simply take our family for granted.

May be at home, we don't need to pretend to be a perfect person all the time. There is nothing to hide. People around us knows all about our past and present. They know who we are or where we come from. Several of them know us inside out. So it is easier to be our real self. It is easier to vent out our emotions when we are with people we are close to. Our anger, our frustration and our grief. On the other hand, happiness is something which can be shared with anybody nonchalantly.

When we go out and make new friends and acquaintances, we always try to start with a clean slate. They know nothing of our past or of our shortcomings.We don't share parts of our lives that we are ashamed of or those we feel will put us in the poor light. We always make a conscious effort to portray ourselves as a wonderful person, all positive, all smiling. We want to be a person that everyone loves and likes to hang around with. Sometimes even our closest friend would not know all about us.

Every one of us likes to be praised, to be remembered with fondness or even adulation. In this quest, we may tend to look outside home. Overlooking the emotional needs our closest family, we may try reach out to the extended one, to friends and even acquaintances with our generosity. But is it okay to do this? And why do we do this? Do we feel that we are not appreciated (or enough) at home, rebuked or humiliated for simple shortcomings, our opinions don't matter or we are not valued at home? Might be, don't you think?
So it also becomes important that we appreciate our family members, that we don't ridicule at their mistakes but help them to correct themselves, consider their feelings while deciding things, make them feel loved with kind words and gestures. Our actions are all inter-connected, don't we see!

Charity begins at home, they say. Quite apt, I would say. If we are at our best at home, we can be at our best outside rather than the other way round. But easier said than done, isn't it? I can be extremely patient at work, tolerating irritants and nonsensical colleagues. But with my family (especially my husband and sister), more than often I am capable of losing it. May be because they know that I am not perfect, they know that my conscience is clear. I know I can bare my emotions to them unabashedly without being judged. I am a kind of serious fellow at work. But at home, I laugh and joke hard. On a regular front, I am not really very easygoing and a kind of an introvert.

Sometime before getting married, I had a tiff with my kid sister. In the flow I said something hurtful to her and she was on the verge of tears. I apologized. But the damage was already done. After she recovered from the hurt I had caused, she gave me a very matured advice. She said, "I know you since we were babies. So I know you well, that you don't really mean the hurtful words you say, that there is nothing negative in your heart. But the people in your marital family don't know you, they don't know who you really are or your heart. So please watch your words and your tone".
The question still remains, which is the true us? I believe when we are in our own skin, we are truly us, with all our shortcomings. And in this self, we are capable of becoming better persons. When we can better our base selves, our extended selves automatically become the best. So yes, charity has to begin at home. Don't you think?

This post has been featured in BlogAdda's Spicy Saturday Picks on 30th July, 2016.

Thursday, July 14, 2016

The Refreshing Rains

A couple of days back in Delhi
It seems that the rain gods have finally smiled upon Delhi with monsoon eyes. It is now raining almost everyday. After a spell of long hot weather, it is finally much cooler.

I have shared many a times that I am a rain fan. The rains soothes my heart and my mind. Most people I know say that they don't know like rains and that it is depressing. But not me. I feel that the greenery becomes more refreshing and more beautiful in and after rains. Sadly, most of Delhi lacks the lustrous green beauty of nature. My area of residence in the capital boasts of only congested concrete cages, stinking garbage dumps and broad blocked drains. When it rains, instead of the earthy petrichor, it is the stink that greets you. Our balcony looks more greener than the neighbourhood. So the rains here makes me sad and yearn for home instead. But thankfully my office is located in a plush residential area and greenery is abundant. So I am able to enjoy the beauty of nature during the rains sometimes. 

Today in the capital

In cities like Delhi, people dread the rains more than they long for them. A little rain is enough to cause traffic to come to a standstill. Right now I am in the office cab which is dropping us to the nearest metro station. It's just two minutes away from the office. But as it's raining now, I am stuck in a slow moving traffic and it is already been twenty minutes since we started. So I thought of tapping away my thoughts on the move. Two weeks back, I took the road instead of the metro and it had started to rain. It took two hours to reach home, forty five minutes more than usual.

In the month of February earlier this year, it was a rainy morning and I was commuting in an auto-rickshaw in the morning. at several places on the way, water puddles were created. At one moment, I suddenly felt as if someone had thrown a big pail of murky water at me. A sedan car had just overtaken my auto from the left, crossing a big puddle in high speed. It was winter. I reached office all wet and couldn't even sit for a long time. I placed the portable heater on my desk and finally managed to dry myself patch by patch.

Another  rainy morning last year, I saw a family of three taking a bath with the muddy water from a puddle. As I passed them, I muttered a silent 'thank you' to the Almighty.
A few days back
Back home, rains are a part of regular life. We enjoy the weather by watching the rain, playing or walking in it, and savouring different delicacies. When water accumulates in the green house compound, small fishes make way to the drowned lawn. A couple of days back, my folks back home shared that a few small fishes fell along with the rain. Hailstorms are something that also excites us more. As kids, we used to collect hailstones and even eat them. I even enjoy the thunderstorms. 

But this side of the country, people go bonkers seeing the rain. When it rains heavily, people flock their rooftops or gullies to 'bath'. You can even see people rubbing their bodies with their hands as if they are taking a shower in their bathroom. I mean, I never seen people doing that back home. The kids in my marital family defines heavy rain as "nahane wala baarish" meaning one can take a bath in such a shower. And I say in a muted voice, "What??? Why??" Dance, jump, sing, play in the rain. Why bath?

A flower in bloom today in my maternal home garden

Being born and brought up in Assam, I am used to carry an umbrella in my bag throughout the year. But in Delhi, I rarely see people walking in the rain using an umbrella. Women today are boarding the metro all wet, with no umbrella in their hands. This year I am also not carrying my umbrella so as to avoid carrying extra weight. But I think I should.

In Assam, rains came as early as April this year. But again, that is how it is almost every year. Humidity as high as ninety seven percent is experienced. But the rains always come as a respite. Oh! how I miss home during monsoons! Everything becomes so green and refreshingly beautiful all around. 
Leaving you with a video of how rain looks like back home. Not a very great video, but it gives a glimpse of how my home looks like during a spell of good rain. Do share how rains make you feel.

My rain posts: