Life is mischievous. When you are happy, it starts giving you innumerable options to be unhappy. Even on days when you wake up with a smile on your face and a spring in your step, it tries to make you go to bed that night on the lowest note possible.
Unhappiness and dissatisfaction are so very treacherous. They can not just leave you alone. They would make you see and perceive things exactly the way they need to manifest themselves on you. They make you look at those transitory loopholes only, which have the capability to drive you nuts.They would make you constantly compare what you had and what you don't now, what you could do and what you can't now.
And how can you forget expectation, the root of all misery. We are told that if we want to be truly happy and at peace, we should cease to expect. But is it really possible to give up expecting when we do that in the smallest of things.
It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness. Poverty and wealth have both failed. ~Frank McKinney "Kin" Hubbard
When I was in school, I remember reading a poem about happiness. It talked about people going crazy about finding happiness but they do not realize that it is within them. That they have to go nowhere else. That happiness is all about controlling the mind, the heart and the thoughts. Most of us do know and understand all of this. But still...
"You only see what your eyes want to see
How can life be what you want it to be
When your heart's not open
You're so consumed with how much you get
You waste your time with hate and regret
When your heart's not open"
The frozen mode is not new to me. I go into the brooding mood from time to time. And I know I am not alone and this knowledge comforts me. It assures me that nothing is seriously wrong with me and I am a normal woman.
Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys. If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it. ~Fyodor Dostoevsky
But I try, I honestly try to rise above the temptations to upset myself and be more than a normal human being. I try to remember that for what I have missed, I have gained something else. I make attempts to pick up the perfect moment from the day when I go to bed. I attempt to think about my good moments when I can't sleep at night. But again I am still a student in this field. And I know I have a long way to go.